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I’ll be back when the enlightened rich man is finished & on the market. For now I’m unplugging myself from the system for a little while, just to collect my thoughts. Love you all, read the enlightened rich man & live it to the fullest, peace.

THE EYE

Said the Eye one day, “I see beyond these valleys a mountain
veiled with blue mist. Is it not beautiful?”

The Ear listened, and after listening intently awhile, said,
“But where is any mountain? I do not hear.”

Then the Hand spoke and said, “I am trying in vain to feel it
or touch it, and I can find no mountain.”

And the Nose said, “There is no mountain, I cannot smell it.”

Then the Eye turned the other way, and they all began to talk
together about the Eye’s strange delusion. And they said,
“Something must be the matter with the Eye.”

The enlightened rich man 60% complete

Chapter 1: SATISFACTION

Is satisfaction fact or fiction?

Can it be felt fully without fraction missing?

Is it a phantom menace in consciousness playing imaginations mistress?

Sending her harlot sensation

for sessions

for lesions

letting us know sensations not as good as satisfaction.

Why’s it’s presents just beyond the present?

in sleep we feel it’s essence,

after awake to it’s absence.

We use substances to grasp it,

still not an ounce of satisfaction

just secure madness.

Should we figure chasing satisfaction is meaningless?

knowing in the pursuit of satisfaction we still can have love, faith & happiness.

A very sensual, woman by the name of Ruby Heart whispered these words to me, after bringing me to the greatest orgasm I’d ever experienced in my life. The poem was one of seven pieces of her enlightening literature, that penetrated my mind deeper than my penis penetrated her Vagina. This lady became my therapist, mentor, teacher & all round deliver, in the most turbulent time of my 21 years on earth. & I only spent one week with her, it was the last seven days of 2011′s December. Ever since that week every inch of my being has been surging with the pure energy of unconditional love & affection. Today marks the anniversary of those electric sessions, so I would like to share her sensational wisdom with whoever has a second.

My name is Valentine Chase Freeman, on X-mas day last year I woke up with a paralyzing hang over in a small tent on wall street in new york city. I couldn’t remember how I got there, & to make things worst I couldn’t get myself out of there. I remember a failed attempt to move around made me spill my guts all over myself. Ms heart entered the tent as my vomiting slowly started ending in hard coughs & loud moaning. She was dressed in a black trench coat that stretched down to a pair of dark brown equestrian boots. I remember she was holding two steaming mugs in her hands that were covered by a pair of fluffy pink winter mittens. The first words I recall her telling me, were,” here have some tea”. I rejected her offer with a shake of my head along with a little grumbling. She said OK, but it’s the best remedy for a hangover. She set the two mugs next to me, then started explaining the condition she found me in when she first laid eyes on me.” You were passed out drunk in a porta potty on –st, with a empty bottle of jack in your lap”. She went on to say, “the johns door was cracked open because your foot was blocking it from closing”. “This is New york city honey”, she said, “your lucky I peeped you while I was walking by with some of my occupancy family, you could of easily become some freaks fresh meat”. As she continued speaking a few of the events from the night before began to play in my memory. I had let the state of depression I was in get the best of me. That evening I was contemplating suicide, because I felt I had lost everything ( I loved). I had recently gotten evicted from my fathers pent house sweat after he was arrested in a major drug sting in Miami. My mom wasn’t speaking to me because when I was 19 I left her in Bermuda (My home town) to live the high life with my father in New York City. The last words my mother told me where, “I would really hate to see you leave, because my heart won’t let me be in any conversation with anyone living off of drug money”. At the time I didn’t take what my mom told me seriously, I was so caught up on living the American dream. On top of all the drama going on with my family, my gold digging girl friend also decided to up & leave. The bitch knew after my pops got knocked my pockets would be on e (empty).

Anyway I broke out of the recollecting daydream to ms heart snapping her fingers at me. “Hey are you even listening to me”, she shouted. She continued preaching, “I will change your entire mind state for the better, if you stay here with me for a week, you won’t have to want for anything, I will supply your every need”. Her light hazel eyes were filled with a look of true sincerity & her heart shaped face was far from ugly, so I replied, “only if you promise to supply all my needs”. She said, “I promise” in a teasing sexual tone, then said but for now you need to catch up on some z’s. For some strange reason, the moment she made that promise to me I felt totally at ease. In no time I fell into a deep, much need sleep.

Hours later that like a child song woke me from my trance like resting. Ms heart had the song blasting, maximum volume from a I Phone that was connected to a Bose surround sound stereo counsel. The inside of the tent was engulfed in incense smoke that seemed to be hiding the smell of some high grade home grown weed. My eyes couldn’t peep to much of my surroundings, but when I propped up the top half of my body. I noticed Ms heart was sitting directly in front of me. She was completely naked with her legs crossed & her eyes closed meditating. I went speechless as I stared at the smooth silhouette of her hour glass body. She had long curly alluring crimson hair that hung over a perfect pair of firm full breast, She had golden brown skin that seemed to shimmer threw clouds of smoke that swirled around her. I gazed on as the Madonna song started to die off. When the song ended Ms hearts eyes opened & instantly connected with my gaze. The sides of her lips ached upwards & dimples formed in each of her puffy rosy cheeks. “Here smoke some T.H.C. it’s time for your E.C.T. “she said to me. She then reached over to the left side of her body to picked up a huge bong & a jar filled with some light green weed. She then stuffed the bong with the weed & passed it to me. Then she passed me a lighter while saying “if you don’t have a iron lung take it easy, that’s sour diesel”. I wrapped my lips over the top of the bong, lit the lighter over the weed, then inhaled deeply. Loads of smoke shot down my throat into my lungs, making me cough uncontrollable.Talking while still coughing, I asked Ms heart “what the fuck was that shit you just gave me & what the hell is E.C.T.”. Ms heart replied, “I told you to take it easy that’s the sour dee’s, & E.C.T. is a abbreviation of erotic cognitive therapy”. I cleared my throat & collected myself threw a few deep breaths to seize coughing. Then I said to her, “how does this therapy shit work, & how will it benefit me”. Ms heart said “well first let me explain to you what it E.C.T. is exactly”. She took a quick hit of the weed than began explaining. “Cognitive therapy in my opinion is the best way of curing mental illnesses like stress & depression.The way it works is by using conversation to identify the issues bothering the person in need, then it works on figuring out the best solutions to deal with those issues. The erotic side of the therapy is the physical part, it’s used to stimulate the person in need using tantric sex techniques making stress release happen very rapidly. Would you like to get started”, she then asked me. Those words made my mind start thinking, this had to be ether a joke or dream, here was the human incarnate of the goddess Aphrodite asking me if I was ready to do the nasty. Before I could conjure up a reply, Ms heart placed her index finger on my lips & said, “you know what, don’t waist your breath speaking, I got your answer from your facial expressions, they always show true emotion”. With her index still on my lips, she pushed my head back gently until I was lying flat on my back. Her lips then replaced her index finger, along with her tongue that slipped inside my mouth. As she kissed me she pulled down the comforter covering the lower part of my body, it was the only thing keeping are bare skin from touching. The heat of are sexually charged body’s touching made me sweat so excessively I swore I had to be melting. Her soaking wet cunt pressed up against my rock hard erection,The pressure brought on so much pleasure pre cum came oozing out of my cocks head. Her kiss left my lips & she began to lick down my neck, then lower to my chest. Little ah sounds came from her voice box as she released her breath. I could of swore she was savoring the taste of my skin & sweat. Her four play was as exotic as ever, but nothing could preparer me for the intensity of what she did next. She grabbed my wrist & positioned my hands on each side of her lower back. She then lifted her upper body off of mine & straightened out her spine, this gave me a birds eye view of her completely shaved vagina. The sight of her drenching my crotch in her juices gave my stomach butterfly’s. With her hands still clamping my hands to her behind, she raised her hips off me just enough for the head of my cock to meet the entrance to her stairway to heaven. Looking right into my eyes she saw I couldn’t take being teased anymore, so she plunged me pass her pearly gates by trusting her self down on me. Ms heart had the tightest pussy I’d ever felt & she made it even tighter by constantly contracting it’s muscles on my cock. In moments my climax was on the runway, ready to fly at any minute. & Judging by the look in her eyes it was quite obvious ms heart knew my gulf steam was ready to depart in no time. I wanted to hold back a little, but when she slid her hands down off my hands & onto my nuts, lift off was in full effect. I began to ejaculate load after load of hot cum up into ms hearts hole. Somewhere in the moments shortly after my explosive climax I must have drifted out of consciousness. I woke up moments later to ms heart staring at me with her bed room eyes. She said to me that was sensational won’t you agree. I replied yes it was, I’m totally satisfied. Ms heart giggled at my reply, then said your the first person I’ve ever met that could have all there problems vanish after a sensational feeling. Then she said I’m going to tell you a little poem about satisfaction, it goes. Is satisfaction fact or fiction ext.

Chapter 2: PASSION
At the time I really didn’t fully comprehend or appreciate ms hearts heavily articulated message. I told her something like, “that was truly some beautiful shit, but I’d bet I’ll be satisfied if I were Oprah rich”. She giggled before replying with, “if you found out somehow you suddenly became Oprah rich this very moment, I’d bet you’d be totally thrown off balance, you wouldn’t know how to manage. In no time you would find yourself drifting into madness, or even worst lose yourself drifting into madness”. She fired up a joint, took a massive hit then continued with, “I know you’ve heard the expression money can’t buy you happiness, I know you probably never paid it any attention, but if you only knew how true that statement was, you would probably begin to take it into consideration. She paused to blow the smoke in my face, then said,”Take princess Diana for instance, she could of had anything in the world at her finger tips, why did she chose to pick up manic depression. Why would she chose to pick up sharp objects to cut her with”. I interrupted her to say, “I don’t know, maybe she was just a royal psycho bitch”. “Oh please valentine”, she said while passing me the blunt.” The reason was this, the peoples princes longed for something that didn’t have a price on it. What the princes longed for was peace of mind, & the joy that comes with it. But before she ever got a chance to fully faced her demons, she married into royal money, so the fame monster that tends follows the filthy rich, took over the wheel & drove her into a dead end”. After saying that, ms heart went silent for a second & drew a crucifix in the air. “At least that’s my option “she said after a moment of silence.

I listen to ms heart state her point of view until it was light outside, but as the sun began to light the sky it was lights out for me. Once again I was sleeping like a baby in this complete strangers tent. I slept so comfortably my mind slipped into vivid dream. In the dream I stood in front of a woman’s face on a giant computer screen. The woman’s face resembled Marilyn Monroe, but her hair wasn’t blond, it was a dark reddish ginger color, sort of like a foxes coat. The image had three eyes, that were each filled with these hypnotic blinding lights. Two of the eyes that were where eyes are supposed to be steered right pass me, but the eye that was positioned in the center of the woman four head steered directly at me. The extra eye didn’t seem like an eye at all tho, it was more like a magnifying glass with the sun behind it. The third eye projected a light so intense it instantly set my body ablaze. The whole experience freaked me out a bit, I woke from it breathing heavily & covered in a cold sweat. I wanted to tell ms heart every detail of the strange vision, hoping she could interpreted it, but for some reason she wasn’t in the tent at the time.

I waited for her to return for like eternity. All the while hunger had my stomach groaning like a yellow stone grizzly, I hadn’t eaten anything since X-mas. I thought to myself yea right supply all my needs. Only when it’s convenient for her tho right, not when I’m actually in need. I needed to take a shower, I needed to take a shit, I needed to brush my teeth, I needed to smoke a cigarette, I needed something to wear. Where were my clothes anyway? But most of all, I needed some 40%, 80 proof distilled water to drink. Here I was with barely any resources & no choice but to wait for this beautiful stranger (butt ass naked inside her tent). It was a really weird feeling. But it could have been worst tho, at least there was a Bose stereo with the radio left on, along with a battery powered heater keeping me warm. I thought to myself what a sweet fire hazard from the heart. There also was that mug of tea that I didn’t drink. My nerves were obviously really bad, so I down it thinking the caffeine would take the edge off a bit. 30 minutes later I refilled the mug then set it outside the tent ( it stunk). Not long after that I thought to myself, I had enough of this shit. It was getting dark outside, I was getting the fuck out of there. I warped a blanket around me, then leaped for the front of the tent. But as I unzip the front of the tent open, mother nature showed me just what type of mood she was in. A cold wind blew right in my direction, the wind blew so hard I had to grip on to the blanket while tucking my head down to shield my face from the harsh elements. That’s when out of the blue, a pink mitten grabbed my nuts making me yelp like a puppy, then without letting go shoved me to the back of the tent. “Were do you think your going “ms heart said still griping my nuts. “LOOK GYPSY BITCH YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO, IM NOT GOING TO LET YOU HOLD ME HOSTAGE”, I yelled. She let go of my balls to take off a knapsack on her back, & some huge sound cancelling ear phones she had on her ears. “I got you some stuff “she said totally unaware of how furious I was. “So how was your day of rehab”, she said, as she finished getting herself situated. “Rehab I answered, you said this was therapy. You told me we would be talking & fucking, you didn’t say anything about leaving me here alone all day”. Ms heart gave me a Aww sound & a fake sad face, then said, “I’m sorry, but leaving you here without any cloths was a good way of finding out who I was dealing with”. Then she added, “If you had any addictions to hard drugs you wouldn’t be here right now, now would you”. Shit, she had a point, but I wasn’t having it. “I said well what happened to the promise you made, you must have completely underestimate all my needs”? “Well “she said, While reaching into the knapsack she took of her back,” I thought you needed some new cloths being that you threw up all over your old outfit”. She reached in the bag & pull out a bright yellow hoodie with a matching pair of sweat pants. Then she said,” I thought you needed to brush your teeth because your breath smells like shit so I got you this”. She threw me a tooth brush along with a small tube of tooth paste. “One more thing” she said, “I got you a new wallet, your I.D. & bank card are in there, but they may smell a little shitty tho, I had fish the wallet you had out of that toilet. So there you go now your free to do what you want”, she then said. “Ok I WANT TO EAT”, I shouted. I started putting on the sweats she got me. “Ether your going to get me some food or I’m out of here”, I said while scrummaging around for my shoes. “Where’s are my shoes I yelled”, after realizing they weren’t in the tent. Ms heart calmly said “you know we could just order something right, what are you in the mood for”. I stared at her with a blank look, thinking to myself, this bitch has completely lost her mind. But I was starving so I couldn’t turn down food. I just said dominos. Ms heart smiled & said dominos it is I got them on speed dial. She pulled out her I pone & proceeded in ordering the pizza. While she order the pizza I talked across her, saying, “you think your slick huh, your going hide my shoes, ok I got you, watch what im going to hide”. Ms heart covered the phones mic with her hand, to shout, “would you mind, I’m trying to order the pizza”. Then she followed with, “what do you want on yours”? “Leave mines plane I replied”. When she was finished with the order I asked her,” why are you doing this to me”. She said “because you have a light inside you, endless opportunities lie ahead of you, & I don’t want to see you throw them all away”.” What makes you think I don’t have a plan” I asked her. “It’s not that I think you don’t have a plan”, she said, “its the fact that you don’t have the mind state to know what the right plan is”. “How do you figure”, I then asked her. She said “it doest take a genius to see your sweating & shaking from the detox your body’s going threw”. Then she paused & looked at me with a look that let me know she knew exactly what was up with me. It was no secret, I was a alcoholic, if I had my shoes I probably would have resorted to begging for change to get a beer. I began to think, damn I’m so close to being a bum. Ms heart said “I’ll be right back, I’m going to go get the order”, then dipped out of the tent. Her timing was perfect, I needed time to myself to analyze what road I was heading down in life. How was I going to get on the right track, I thought, I really didn’t have any plan. What was the right track anyway? I wonder on until ms heart returned with a brown paper bag full of fruits & vegetables. “Weirs the pizza I yelled. Ms heart replied, you don’t need pizza, you need something that will rejuvenate your body”. Totally frustrate from getting far from what I expected I girt my teeth & turned from facing her. All of a sudden I heard zippers & buttons coming undone, then I heard her empty one of the bags. Ms heart softly said “turn around & taste me with these peaches & cream”. I turned to see her with her legs spread open with her natural nectar dripping over a bunch of fruits & berries. It was a truly magnificent sight to behold. “Take it all “she whispered to me. She didn’t have to tell me twice, I began inhaling everything. She then whispered “I want you to let your breath out inside me, blow me away”. This made me blow on her pussy like it was way to hot to just shove in my mouth. I Doug in, & it wasn’t long before ms heart went haywire. She griped my head as her legs convulsed, then she griped my right hand & made me feel her hearts pulse. At that moment my mind just dissolved ( I black out). I regain consciousness moments later, to see ms heart staring at me with her bedroom eyes. “Deja vu”. I said grinning.

We chatted for a while & while we did I remembered the dream I had. I told it to ms heart in full detail, then asked her if she could interpreted it for me. She said, “I would be delighted to”. Without hesitation she got right into it saying, “It’s seem to me as if you had a dream about the system you live in. You were looking in the face of the machine you relied on, as it acted as if it wasn’t looking at you, but it really was. The sun was the machines third eye, & its main source of power. It burn you up because you had nothing to offer the it, likewise it had nothing for you. But a part of you was attracted to it, thats why you viewed it with having the heights of beauty. You also viewed the machine with having fox like characteristics, like it was a crook. Im guessing thats what it’s hair color represented. Ms heart ended her analysis with, I guess your subconscious mind knows the soil it’s resting on valentine”. I just replied, “It seem so”. She jumped off topic to talk about Oprah again. She said “do you want to know the reason why Oprahs able to maintains her sanity while being so wealthy”? I said something like “I don’t know enlighten me”. “Its because Oprah has a passion for giving”. That statement rang a bell in my mind. When I was young my mother always told me, you only get to give. Ms hearts then told me, “Its hard to get depressed when your truly passionate about something likely giving”. At that moment I had an little epiphany , I understood what ms heart was telling me & it actually made sense. I told her thats the first thing you’ve said that sounds like it adds up. She said, what i’m saying is not rocket science valentine. Then she said let me tell you a little poem about passion, It goes

Are you a slave to your passion?

Should you be?

Do you surrender to your passion unquenchable burning?

If no then what keeps you breathing?

Is your passion your potion or your poison?

Is it your means to an end?

Is it your ends?

Is your passion really your passion or is it your passion to pretend?

Is your passion foolish pride?

Does your passion get you high?

Is it something you treasure?

Does it fill you with pain

or does it fill you with pleasure?

Does it pull you apart?

Or does it keep you together?

Does your passion keep you under pressure?

Does your passion kill you quickly or slowly bring you alive

Or vice versa?

Whatever your true passion may be

Let it be.

& Whatever your true passion may do

Let it do.

Just know you are your passion

& your passion is you.

Chapter 3: SENSATION
“What’s your passion”? I asked her, after all her questions. “Good question” she answered, “I have so many. I guess I’ll have to say the art of living life to the fullest is my number one passion”. I thought to myself ha well you must suck at that if your occupying wall street. Ms heart said, “the question you should be asking yourself is, what is my true passion”. Damn,I had to think about that one. I had things I liked to do, like free styling ( rapping) & painting, but I wouldn’t consider them passions of mines, more so hobbies. I just told her, “I don’t have any”. Ms heart said “yes you do, everyone has a passion, & I’m here to help you find yours”. Good luck with that, I thought myself. I told her “before you help me find myself, help me find a bathroom, I really have to shit”. We both laughed at the awkward situation, then ms heart said “no prob, I’m going to my neighbors tent to get your shoes”. She threw on her coat & boots, then left the tent to do as she said. Five minutes later she returned with my shoes, but she wasn’t alone. A slim, red boned, brunet chick, with chinky eyes & a devilish grin accompanied her. I knew this chick was going to be a distraction, she looked like full on occupy jailbait.”Valentine I would like you to meet my neighbor Ember”, ms heart said.” She was one of my friends that helped me drag your drunk ass to my tent”. “You were WASTED”, we’re the first words ember said to me (in her posh high pitched voice). I hadn’t any words for her, I just nodded my head & avoided any eye contacted. Ms heart said, “put your shoes on, we’re going to jog to the gym”. I replied, were gonna what? The two waited for me to get my shoes on & tied, then took off down the block. “Catch up if you want to take a shower,” ms heart shouted. “WAIT UP”, I cried! I quickly held my bowls & hauled ass, as best I could. There was no way I was going miss out on a shower.

About one miles & 30, thirsty minutes later we arrived at the gym. I couldn’t keep myself from puking on the carpet of the automatic doors at the front entrance. I hadn’t ran like that in a long time. Luckily I was skillfull enough to keep the vomit from getting on my bright yellow outfit tho. We entered & ms heart got me in as a guest. I ran straight to the rest room, kicked in the stall, wrestled my sweats down then painted the face of the toilet seat brown. Ahhhh, Euphoria came over my whole body from getting that load off. I then mummified my hand in toilet papper & wiped my ass clean. When I was done I washed my hands, doused them in hand sanitizer, checked out how much my facial hair had grown in the mirror, then diped outta there. Ms heart & ember stood laughing at me as I came out of the men’s room. I told them, “what are you two laughing at, who wears trenches & boots to the gym”. Ms heart said “if you be good, in few minutes we won’t be wearing anything at all”. We walked pass treadmills & exercise equipment until we arrived at a tinted glass door. The door had a sign on it that read, message therapy spa. Ms heart politely said be a gentlemen valentine. I took the hint & open the door for the lady’s, than followed them inside the room. Littled did I know that I had just walked into heaven on earth. Lava lamps played on the white walls, while Eurythmics sweet dreams played threw speakers in the celling. Ms heart & ember immediately striped down to there socks, then started dancing in front of me ( VERY SEXUALLY). This aboviously aroused the fuck out of me, my dick quickly grew to a size I didn’t even know was possible. Ember shoved her hands down my pants & grabbed my throbbing erection, then guided me to the meassage table without letting go. Ms heart said “lie down for me mr Freeman you are about to be reborn”.
Before my head hit the goose down pillow on the bed, the lady’s tore off my sweats & began to rub down my entire body. Ember stood at the head of the bed & bent her bullet nippled voluptuous breast over my face, while running her hands over my body with ms heart (who was standing at my feet). I couldn’t see much at that point, but I could care less, because my sense of touch was receiving fist class treatment. It wasnt long before kisses began to shower my flesh, followed by sucks, licks & nibbles (That left me imprinted with hickeys & bite marks). Some of the bites hurt & some even drew a bit of blood. This made me twitch & cry Ahhh, while trying my best to man up to the pleasurable abuse. The nips became more & more forceful as they continued, to the point were I began to beg the two to ease up a little (whispering take it easy) here & there. But my silent pleads were completely egnored by the ladies, as they rapidly let there selves be carried into a lust filled frenzy. Out of the blue I felt teeth sink deep into my inner thigh. This made me grab the side of the bed, arch my spine up off the mattress & yell, YAAA FUCK! Ember said, “pain is pleasure boy” then pressed on my stomach, forcing my back to crash down against the mattress. Thats when ms heart left the foot of the bed to go get something out of her coat. She pulled out a brown water canteen out of her pocket, then walked back over to the foot of the bed. Ember joined ms heart as she popped open the canteen & began to pour a thick golden liquid all over her breast & hands. When ms heart had finished oiling herself up, she passed the canteen to ember & she did the same. All the pain of there feeding frenzy transformed into an electric tingling sensation as I felt the souls of my feet being massaged by the two ladies. It was like they were pressing against all the right nerve endings, sending a deep energy charge threw out my entire body. It was such a deep bursting vibe I tried to pull away to get a chance to analyze what I was feeling. Not a good idea when your dealing with two extremly horny women. The moment I jerked my legs back I swear I saw the meanest look of lust filled aggression came over the women’s faces. It looked as if they were hungry for my body & I was trying to take there meal. They grab my legs & dragged my ass to the edge of the mattress. I thought what the fuck have I got my self into? I started to fear what would happen if let them continue. Ms heart peeped the look of dismay of my face & grinned as if it was exactly what she was aiming for. Her grin matched embers devilish grin which seemed like it hadn’t left her face since the time we met. This made me wonder if all this shit they were doing to me was premeditated. My pondering could only last a few seconds tho. My attention reverted back to what ms heart was doing to me at the moment. She warped my dick in between her luscious breast then began to slid her chest up & down my shaft. The feeling was unexplainable. All I could say is that, it felt like I was drifting threw some steaming hot precipitating clouds. Five strokes in & a extraordinary, thundering rippled threw my inner beging. I was about to explode. Ms heart demanded ember to pour some more CANNABIS oil on her breast. Those words delayed my Climax for a second. WTf oil, I could only think at that time ,while sunk in such pleasurable suspense. BlLLhhAaa I couldn’t hold back any longer. I broke hard as ever. My back crashed to the back of the bed. WTF!
I began fading in & out a daze again, my pulse raced with my breath. Ms heart rose with my cum sliding down her chest chanting.

Sensation’s a seductress

who stimulates our senses

with soothing massages

sending message’s

to areas that are sensitive

releasing chemicals like dopamine & serotonin

sensation’s a chemist

natural sensation cures like doctors remedies

unlike synthetics

true sensations gives us extacy even when reminiscing

So we should never forget it

Chapter 4: DESIRE
The effects of the tainted oil began to kick in shortly after ms hearts speech. The room seemed as if it was turning slowly anlong with the lava lamps shadows on the walls. I was high as a loose helium balloon. I tried to get a grip on myself by standing up, which was no problem, until I tried stepping. My whole body was numb from the ass down & I quickly found out that walking wasn’t second nature for me.Two shaky steps towards ms heart & my knees dropped to the floor. “WTF have you done to me”, I shouted. Ms heart replied “please, clam down”, as she kneeled down & got into a standard meditation position. She then advised ember & I to do the same. The three of us held hands & got in a circle. (like we were about to sing kumbiya or something) Ms heart instructed us to close our eyes & clear our mind.” Concentrate your consciousness only on your breathing” she said. “What time is”? I asked, out of a growing curiosity. Ember squeezed my hand & said “shoo”! Both of the ladies then blocked me out as they went into there zen modes. How long we’re we going to sit here meditating, how was I suppose to concentrate on breathing? how long was I going to be this high? My mind raced with endless chattering. Memory’s even played on me, fresh memory’s referenced back to past memory’s, followed by analysis of how the future might be. Escaping thought was impossible, & trying to clear my mind only made me think more. I found relief when ms hear broke the silence, by saying, “ok I’m ready to take a shower”. She got up then stretched out her hand towards me. I took her hand & she helped me up. I was still high as a kite, but I was able to walk at that point.( not without stumbling a bit tho) The three of us got dressed, then exited the spa. My eyes had to adjust to lighting in the gyms main room, it was almost blinding after coming out of that dimly lit spa. We walked (I staggered) to the front of the gym where the locker rooms where located, then ms heart past me a block of soap & said, “we’ll meet you back here in 15 minutes”. I thought I’m probably going to need around 50 minutes, but I kept my thoughts to myself & headed to the showers.
Let me tell you, I rejoiced like a baptized baptist when I got under that water. Joy was my only conscious emotion, I don’t know if it was heighten do to the oil or if it was just a natural enjoyment of the present situation. All I know is that joy was there & was real. The soap stung when it slipped inside the little openings ms heart & ember left in my flesh, but the feeling wasn’t so painful. It was more or lest a sort of surging tingling, that the water sooth over. It actually felt quite pleasant. While I finished rinsing off I noticed something very different about me. My jaws weren’t so tightly clamped, my heart didn’t weight as much as it did, nether did my thoughts.The stress I had been holding on to for a while was no longer there. I turned the water off to fully grasp my moment of clarity. Where was that empty feeling I was feeling? It seemed as if all my cares & fears just went down the drain with the water.
It got up to the time for me to meet back with the ladies, So I dryed off, put my cloths back on, then hit the door. A water fountain to left side of the door, caught my eye on coming out of the locker room. I totally ignored everything that was going on, & hung my face over with my mouth open. I jabbed fountains the button, not knowing the water would spring out forceful enough to spray me in the face. This caught the attention of the whole room (including ms heart & ember) & once again I was the object of laughter. It was hilarious tho, so I just bust out laughing along with them, then pushed my ass out & got to drinking. Ah ice cold water, I tried to down a gallon of it. While I drank, I over heard ms heart & ember getting into a argument about religion. I heard ember say “Well because X-mas is for Christians, you can’t be a Christian yogi that’s a total contradiction “. Ms heart said “why not”? Ember said “Well how would you explain or justify what we did 20 minutes ago, st Teresa. Ms heart replied with,” well its a matter of faith. I believe jesus died for my sins, so i’m forgiven, & if quantum physics is correct & are reality is a manifestation of what we believe, then I believe in what the majority of society believes in, making Christianity the realist thing going. Come on ember even the queen believes in JESUS. When I heared that I spewed the water out of my mouth. Ember “shouted valentine what do you believe”. I said, “Aye Chill with that, while ducking from all the attention the conversation was causing. Why dont we discus this outside or something, I whispered”. Ms heart said “good idea”. We all went outside, then just as the auttomatic door closed behind us ember asked me again. “Valentine what do you believe in”. I paused for a sec then stated boldly in my best Jamaican accent,” I BELIVE IN HIGHLY Haile SELASSIE I JAH RASTA FARI”. This made the two of them stop to see if I was serious. Then I cracked a smerk & all of us almost Rollover over laughing. When the laughter cleared up I said, “no for real tho, if I had to say I believe in anything it would have to be love. Ms heart said now see now your speaking my language, God is love & love is the first step towards enlightenment. As we walk back to wall street ms heart started explaining to me her whole perspective on life & enlightenment. She told me, “Enlightenment is what happens when you find love, overcome fear, & know how to make good use of your reason. You know what, give me your email I write about this stuff all the time, Im going to send you some of my work “ms heart said, when she finished explaining her views on reality. I asked her” is that what you are, your a writer”. Ember interrupted ms heart before she answered me, ember said “ms heart is something different every day. One day she’s the writer of her philosophy on enlightenment the next she’s a Theologian”. I said no, I mean what do you do for a living. Ms heart just ignored my question by bickering with ember again. They went at it until we reached wall street.
I now find it funny that I only fully recognized how surreal It was to be staying in the middle of the occupancy movement then as we approached wall street. My eyes were open while walking threw the crowds of protesters, young & old standing together out in the cold, fighting to make there voice heard. I wasn’t the only one with problems. This was as real as it gets, my problems were actually minuet in comparison to what some of the shit these people were going threw. Ms heart went back to the tent & ember went her way. As for me I stayed up until dawn listening to people sharing there thoughts & feeling. The last thing I remember doing was brushing my teeth outside the tent as the sky turned navy blue, then joining ms heart who was wrapped up in a blanket fast asleep.
It had to be around noon day when I woke to cranberries zombies blasting threw the speakers of the Bose system. Once again ms heart was meditating in front of me, this time doing a yoga move that look like it defied gravity. I reached over to the system to turned the music down, but before I could press the volume button ms heart said ” good morning valentine, please join me”. I informed her that it was impossible for me to bend my body up the way she had hers, but she told me “you don’t have to, just cross your legs, close your eyes & straighten your spine”. I did as she said, then asked her, how am I suppose clear my mind. She told me by concentrating on your breathing & nothing else. “Lets say I do clear my mind “I said, ” how’s that going help me when I got so much shit to think about if I want to get my life on track”. Ms heart replied clearing your mind is only transferring your conscience from the left side of your brain to the right. She told me the left side of my brain deals with logical analyzation & the right side deal with divine intoxication. She hopped up from her tangled up stance then said “you know what forget about for now, your filled with too much desires to even come close to transcending conscience”. I said “hold up, I’m willing to give it a try”. Ms heart started rolling joint while saying, you wanted to know what I do for a living. I jokingly said, “yea unless you like, steal organs & sell em on the black market or some shit”. Right after saying that I thought oh shit” on second thought I would want to know if she was into some shit like that”. Ms heart laughed then said, “no nothing of that nature, but what I do is illegal & I do hurt people”. I went silent for a minute as psycho sirens began to blaire in my mind. I thought about a list of things she could of been, from queen drug dealer to fem fatal assassin. She smirked at my clueless, curious face, then she told me, “I get $2,000 dolIars an hour to make these wall street big shots suck on my feet before I fuck them in there ass with strap on’s”. My mouth dropped to the floor. ” In shock I said so your a prostitute”. Ms hearts said,” no I sell fantasies not my body”. This completely change the way I viewed her & also brought up a ton of questions. The first question I wanted to ask her was what hell she was doing out here, but before I could she said.” I dont want to fixate on what I do for living right now, I only brought it up to make a point. I mentioned it is because I want to show you how you can lose your self in desires”. She fired her joint then said, “this my philosophy on desire.

When we search for pleasure on the outside

as opposed to owning it on the inside

we become devoured by desires

Urges emerge in our brains chemical & electrical make up submerged in 80% water

In smoking mirrors mirages in invisible flames flair

appearing as pleasurable possibilities in the near future

Love gets sired in these illusionary nirvanas in an ether real nightmare

The only way to become awake alert & aware

is learning not to suffer what isn’t there.

Chapter 5 OBSESSION
After her poem I went into deep thought for a minute. Ms heart nudged my arm to pass me the joint, then asked me “whats was on my mind”. I answered “nothing, don’t worry about it”. She said, “thats good, I should of let you be then. Keeping your mind on auto pilot as much as possible is the best way of gaining divine inspiration”. She got closer & began to rubbed her hands over my face, then said “you have to know how to indulge in pleasure when pleasure presents her self to you. You have to know how to enjoy her & not hurt for the joy she brings when it leaves”. You get my drift, she then asked as she griped my chin in her hand. I said “yea I get you, while falling in love with the way she was running her other hand all over me. “Affection is a gift & a curse” she said before peck kissing my neck. She continued with “sure it brings you to life & connects you with the moment, but it can easily becomes a afflicting addiction”. Chills ran threw my skin from the breath & depth of those words (bells rang). For some reason at that point I realized everything around us was in perfect harmony with us. The vibrating concert street under us was in concert with the chants from the crowed around us, it all felt like a part of us. Its hard for me to describe, but it felt like my inner senses were opened, the light, sound & feelings inside me blended with everything from the horns on the cars to the beat of our heart. What could trouble my mind, I was getting the best Bj (blow job) in the greatest city in the world, free of charge, free from the heart. Hallelujah!
However, Her words were way stronger than the feeling she gave me. What she was telling me had the power to liberate me from the fire of desire. What she was trying to show me wasn’t clear to me until hours later when I started thinking about what would happen when the ball dropped. That’s when this E.C.T. thing was supposed end, that’s when we were supposed part ways. This was a problem, because a new found love for her was definitely growing on me. I’m mean how could you blame me, theres a lot of guys that would die for the special treatment I was getting. Its was the funniest thing as soon I realized how much desire burned, I also realized the fact that I was totally engulfed in it. I had to tell ms heart how I felt. But of course I was going to be as indirect as possible tho, (didn’t want my feelings to come off sounding corny). In a agitated tone I told her,” if desire destroys people so much then why have you been stuffing me full of it”. She calmly claimed ,” getting you acquainted with your worst enemy gives you the option of controlling or destroying them if your powerful enough to”. The question is how powerful are you, could you be powerful enough to conquer your worst enemy. ” I thought whoa, what are you getting at, I don’t know”. She began to get ready to go some where, as she left she said “don’t worry babe, i’ll make sure you’ll have enough courage to be fearless by the time the ball drops”. That was exactly what I needed to hear, but at the time the only thing I feared was her not feeling the same feelings I felt for her. She left & the whole time she was gone I imagined what life would be like with her as my wife. What else could I think, I mean I didn’t have anyone else around to hold on to. I decided what I had to do was figure out what paths she was wanted to go down in life in order to see if I could to sync my destiny with hers. I fell asleep contemplating the matter. In my sleep I had another dream about that lady’s face on the computer screen. This time, she was behind me as I looked out of the head of the statue of liberty. I couldn’t see anything but sun shining threw the windows, as I heard anarchy all threw out the city, it sounded like bulding were crashing & billions of voices screaming from every direction. I woke around dawn terrified!
Mozart’s lacrimosa roared threw ms hearts speaks as I came to my senses. Ms heart had just entered the tents entrance with two paper bags in her hands. She peeped the state of panic I was in then said,”Damn valentine you look like you’ve just seen a ghost”. I couldn’t speak, I just stared into her worried eyes as she stared back into mines. She asked me, what’s going on with me, as she passed me a brown paper bag with a hot soup inside it. I told her something like,” I wish I could tell you but I barley know myself”. It took a few sips of soup for me to get comfortable enough to start breaking the ice on how I was feeling. When I finally maned up, I asked her, “do you believe in love at first sight”. She replied, “well that’s hard to say, I believe two people can be very attracted to each other on first sight, then get to know each other & find out that they both have all the qualities of the person they would want to spend the rest of there life with. Then she followed her answer up with, but I don’t know if you would call that love at first sight. Damn I didn’t even know why I ask her that question, knowing she had a politically correct answer for almost every question. The only way for me to get the answer I was or wasn’t looking for was to get straight to the point. I did, but I managed to do so by tip toeing to it . I said “what do you want your love life to be like”. She laugh, then whimsically said some thing like the greatest love of all is inside me, my love life is already as golden as can be. As the tent turned a lighter shade she, got into a meditation pose with her legs folded & her hands on her knees. Before I could ask another silly question ms heart said, “I take things as they come valentine, because I’ve learned having contentment is like having the philosopher’s stone, you can pretty much turn everything into gold with it. But to be content you have to completely purge yourself of any obsessions for things you cant have”. Without thinking I blurted out, Ok but what if I only wished to have you. She said,” maybe in the next lifetime valentine, we all have drama & im sure you don’t want to get evolved with any of the drama I’m dealing with right now”. I told her,”I might if we take everything one day at a time”. Her whole face lite up after I said that, then she got serious & filled me in on her present situation, which actually came to surprise the shit out of me.
She began to tell me all about the visit she payed to her brother in the brooklyn federal detention center the day before. This immediately caught my attention because my dad was in that same building. Come to find out her brother emerald heart was awaiting trail for his involvement in a Mayger cannibiss cartel & owning over a dozen cannibiss nurseries that he managed threw out mexico & California. Mercy, this sounded too familiar. Well it was far more than something that just sounded familiar, this was the sting my father was involeved in. The hair stood up on my skin. I took in a deep breath to assess the anomaly, as I exhaled I listened as she angrily explained her x husbands gold fingered hand in the game. Get this, her husband some Gordon gecko type financial adviser, funded the whole operation. It was a phenomena, the whole time the both of us were together we were part of some weird twigh light zone divine intervention paradox & nethier of us had even the slightest clue. I remember cutting her off mid sentence as she began to mention more of my pops involvement. I said ok ok spear me the detail, your life is way to manic for me.
We went silent for a while until ms heart decide to light up a joint of some Cush. After a few hits she began telling me her whole life story including the reason she was on wall street with the protesters. I swear I was held in suspense from beginning to end.” I’m from St. Pedro she started to with “. Long story short she moved to America when she was 18 to live with her bother in California who was a doctor that legally owned huge medicinal marajuana farms & vine yards in the valleys. Life was a dream until Diamond mind her greedy future husband show up one day with the deal of a life time. Mr mind told her brother that he could make triple what he was making if he also managed some more farms some place just outside of the city of Santa fe in mexico. Little did ms hearts brother know that these crops were be grown to be distributed illegally world wide. At the same time slick old diamond mind with his millionaire charm was smooth enough to sweep little ms heart off her feet & they got married shortly after. She told me life with mr. mind was like living in the eye of a category 4 hurricane. If you don’t know what that’s like, I would tell you it’s like a grim still place your stuck in while chaos swirls around you. For the time there married lasted ms heart moved to N.Y.C. To be closer to her husband & taught kundulini yoga online in one of his Harlem apartments. Time past by & it didn’t take long for ms heart to realized mr mind rarely had any time for her, so she filed for divorce. It got messy like divorces usually do & due to diamond minds high payed lawyer along with his great influence in the court ms heart came off empty handed. Just as this was happening the Feds cracked down on the whole cannabis operation. While she was in court one day her brother called her from the Feds building in brooklyn filling her in on the bad news. Over 20 pounds of his marijuana (I’m talking millions of dollars worth of his weed) was found on a freight liner in new jersey that was on its way to the virgin islands.
She put the little money that she had from her yoga training to wards bailing her bother out by, giving it to his wife (like he requested ). But his wife was no good she disappeared shortly after. So penniless ms heart decided to head to the occupy movement on wall street. A visit to a underground dominatrix club her husbands was a member of got her the femdom gig that got her by for the time being. Most of the money she got from her tricks was ether sent to her brother or given to the homeless. She only held on to 10% of her earnings for basic necessity. In no time she was comfortable enough to set up a tent & become a prominent voice in libirty plaza protesting against corporate greed. On x-mas eve she helped organized a march to ground zero to remind the people of how american freedom felt before the fear the attack brought the country. On the way back from her march she found me passed out in that john. & there you have it, that’s how this all came to be. I remember ms heart ending her synopses with something like, the worst mistake of her life was marring this greedy 1%er x husband of hers who was driven by his obsession to secure happiness reaching the zenith of monetary prosperity.Then she put the roach out, tied her hair in a pony tail & got on her poetry tip by saying.

Make sure your obsession is not a distraction

know if your obsession is not love then it is a distraction

loveless obsessions only leads to negative compulsive actions

so if your not investing love in your actions how will they benefit you?

that’s the question.

Chapter 6 PATIENT
“What do you think the majority of our society is obsessed with most valentine”, she asked me after her poem. I thought about most of the music videos I’ve watched then answered, “sex & money I guess”. She giggled & said yea in a way but I would say most people in the western world are obsessed with becoming successful, the only problem is they have know idea what success really is. They think success is something to be achieved or even bought in some cases, when in actual fact success is way more that. You must know this valentine, success is not a destination, its a journey & you become successful by being at peace”. I said, “well how do you find peace when everything around you is fucked up?” “You find peace threw stillness & silence” she replied. That was to vague for me to fully grasp at the time, so I asked her to elaborate a for me.” She didn’t waste any time.” She started explaining the way to me step by step saying, purifying your mind leads to perfection in stillness. Dispelling negative emotions is the first & most important step to your liberation, & doing so takes constant meditation. Having compassion toward others & being kind to all is the second step & probably the hardest of them all. & the third step is having patients threw self dicpline. Once you’ve mastered those three steps you’ll be able to enter into stillness. With a still purified mind you can go beyond this material realm & the endless dialogue streaming threw your mind until you’ll come to realize the true nature of the unified universe. Divine awareness takes over & you’ll start to understand your roll in the grand scheme of things. Now i’m not saying you’ll instantly become the Buddha, but I am saying you will surely start find your true self or see how to create the best person you could be”. I took all that she said into consideration, but really those steps sounded like to much of a process for me to ever take seriously.
We kicked it in the tent for a while until we decided it definitely time to go to the gym again. Before we left ms heart pulled two karate gi’s out of her sleeping bag, then slipped one on. I knew the other one was for me, but haha no seriously. I said no sensei not this bermudian, I need something way warmer or I’ll freeze to death. Ms heart said “no you won’t you’ll adapt & survive”. I thought to myself damn the things I have to do to take a shit with this chick. It didn’t take me long to realize this was my only option so I said fuck it & threw on the ninja suit with the smelly yellow hoody. Coming out of the tent wasn’t fun at all. There was a thick fog over the cold city, we weren’t able to see a block in front of us.

The enlightened rich man 60% complete

Chapter 1: SATISFACTION

Is satisfaction fact or fiction?

Can it be felt fully without fraction missing?

Is it a phantom menace in consciousness playing imaginations mistress?

Sending her harlot sensation

for sessions

for lesions

letting us know sensations not as good as satisfaction.

Why’s it’s presents just beyond the present?

in sleep we feel it’s essence,

after awake to it’s absence.

We use substances to grasp it,

still not an ounce of satisfaction

just secure madness.

Should we figure chasing satisfaction is meaningless?

knowing in the pursuit of satisfaction we still can have love, faith & happiness.

A very sensual, woman by the name of Ruby Heart whispered these words to me, after bringing me to the greatest orgasm I’d ever experienced in my life. The poem was one of seven pieces of her enlightening literature, that penetrated my mind deeper than my penis penetrated her Vagina. This lady became my therapist, mentor, teacher & all round deliver, in the most turbulent time of my 21 years on earth. & I only spent one week with her, it was the last seven days of 2011′s December. Ever since that week every inch of my being has been surging with the pure energy of unconditional love & affection. Today marks the anniversary of those electric sessions, so I would like to share her sensational wisdom with whoever has a second.

My name is Valentine Chase Freeman, on X-mas day last year I woke up with a paralyzing hang over in a small tent on wall street in new york city. I couldn’t remember how I got there, & to make things worst I couldn’t get myself out of there. I remember a failed attempt to move around made me spill my guts all over myself. Ms heart entered the tent as my vomiting slowly started ending in hard coughs & loud moaning. She was dressed in a black trench coat that stretched down to a pair of dark brown equestrian boots. I remember she was holding two steaming mugs in her hands that were covered by a pair of fluffy pink winter mittens. The first words I recall her telling me, were,” here have some tea”. I rejected her offer with a shake of my head along with a little grumbling. She said OK, but it’s the best remedy for a hangover. She set the two mugs next to me, then started explaining the condition she found me in when she first laid eyes on me.” You were passed out drunk in a porta potty on –st, with a empty bottle of jack in your lap”. She went on to say, “the johns door was cracked open because your foot was blocking it from closing”. “This is New york city honey”, she said, “your lucky I peeped you while I was walking by with some of my occupancy family, you could of easily become some freaks fresh meat”. As she continued speaking a few of the events from the night before began to play in my memory. I had let the state of depression I was in get the best of me. That evening I was contemplating suicide, because I felt I had lost everything ( I loved). I had recently gotten evicted from my fathers pent house sweat after he was arrested in a major drug sting in Miami. My mom wasn’t speaking to me because when I was 19 I left her in Bermuda (My home town) to live the high life with my father in New York City. The last words my mother told me where, “I would really hate to see you leave, because my heart won’t let me be in any conversation with anyone living off of drug money”. At the time I didn’t take what my mom told me seriously, I was so caught up on living the American dream. On top of all the drama going on with my family, my gold digging girl friend also decided to up & leave. The bitch knew after my pops got knocked my pockets would be on e (empty).

Anyway I broke out of the recollecting daydream to ms heart snapping her fingers at me. “Hey are you even listening to me”, she shouted. She continued preaching, “I will change your entire mind state for the better, if you stay here with me for a week, you won’t have to want for anything, I will supply your every need”. Her light hazel eyes were filled with a look of true sincerity & her heart shaped face was far from ugly, so I replied, “only if you promise to supply all my needs”. She said, “I promise” in a teasing sexual tone, then said but for now you need to catch up on some z’s. For some strange reason, the moment she made that promise to me I felt totally at ease. In no time I fell into a deep, much need sleep.

Hours later that like a child song woke me from my trance like resting. Ms heart had the song blasting, maximum volume from a I Phone that was connected to a Bose surround sound stereo counsel. The inside of the tent was engulfed in incense smoke that seemed to be hiding the smell of some high grade home grown weed. My eyes couldn’t peep to much of my surroundings, but when I propped up the top half of my body. I noticed Ms heart was sitting directly in front of me. She was completely naked with her legs crossed & her eyes closed meditating. I went speechless as I stared at the smooth silhouette of her hour glass body. She had long curly alluring crimson hair that hung over a perfect pair of firm full breast, She had golden brown skin that seemed to shimmer threw clouds of smoke that swirled around her. I gazed on as the Madonna song started to die off. When the song ended Ms hearts eyes opened & instantly connected with my gaze. The sides of her lips ached upwards & dimples formed in each of her puffy rosy cheeks. “Here smoke some T.H.C. it’s time for your E.C.T. “she said to me. She then reached over to the left side of her body to picked up a huge bong & a jar filled with some light green weed. She then stuffed the bong with the weed & passed it to me. Then she passed me a lighter while saying “if you don’t have a iron lung take it easy, that’s sour diesel”. I wrapped my lips over the top of the bong, lit the lighter over the weed, then inhaled deeply. Loads of smoke shot down my throat into my lungs, making me cough uncontrollable.Talking while still coughing, I asked Ms heart “what the fuck was that shit you just gave me & what the hell is E.C.T.”. Ms heart replied, “I told you to take it easy that’s the sour dee’s, & E.C.T. is a abbreviation of erotic cognitive therapy”. I cleared my throat & collected myself threw a few deep breaths to seize coughing. Then I said to her, “how does this therapy shit work, & how will it benefit me”. Ms heart said “well first let me explain to you what it E.C.T. is exactly”. She took a quick hit of the weed than began explaining. “Cognitive therapy in my opinion is the best way of curing mental illnesses like stress & depression.The way it works is by using conversation to identify the issues bothering the person in need, then it works on figuring out the best solutions to deal with those issues. The erotic side of the therapy is the physical part, it’s used to stimulate the person in need using tantric sex techniques making stress release happen very rapidly. Would you like to get started”, she then asked me. Those words made my mind start thinking, this had to be ether a joke or dream, here was the human incarnate of the goddess Aphrodite asking me if I was ready to do the nasty. Before I could conjure up a reply, Ms heart placed her index finger on my lips & said, “you know what, don’t waist your breath speaking, I got your answer from your facial expressions, they always show true emotion”. With her index still on my lips, she pushed my head back gently until I was lying flat on my back. Her lips then replaced her index finger, along with her tongue that slipped inside my mouth. As she kissed me she pulled down the comforter covering the lower part of my body, it was the only thing keeping are bare skin from touching. The heat of are sexually charged body’s touching made me sweat so excessively I swore I had to be melting. Her soaking wet cunt pressed up against my rock hard erection,The pressure brought on so much pleasure pre cum came oozing out of my cocks head. Her kiss left my lips & she began to lick down my neck, then lower to my chest. Little ah sounds came from her voice box as she released her breath. I could of swore she was savoring the taste of my skin & sweat. Her four play was as exotic as ever, but nothing could preparer me for the intensity of what she did next. She grabbed my wrist & positioned my hands on each side of her lower back. She then lifted her upper body off of mine & straightened out her spine, this gave me a birds eye view of her completely shaved vagina. The sight of her drenching my crotch in her juices gave my stomach butterfly’s. With her hands still clamping my hands to her behind, she raised her hips off me just enough for the head of my cock to meet the entrance to her stairway to heaven. Looking right into my eyes she saw I couldn’t take being teased anymore, so she plunged me pass her pearly gates by trusting her self down on me. Ms heart had the tightest pussy I’d ever felt & she made it even tighter by constantly contracting it’s muscles on my cock. In moments my climax was on the runway, ready to fly at any minute. & Judging by the look in her eyes it was quite obvious ms heart knew my gulf steam was ready to depart in no time. I wanted to hold back a little, but when she slid her hands down off my hands & onto my nuts, lift off was in full effect. I began to ejaculate load after load of hot cum up into ms hearts hole. Somewhere in the moments shortly after my explosive climax I must have drifted out of consciousness. I woke up moments later to ms heart staring at me with her bed room eyes. She said to me that was sensational won’t you agree. I replied yes it was, I’m totally satisfied. Ms heart giggled at my reply, then said your the first person I’ve ever met that could have all there problems vanish after a sensational feeling. Then she said I’m going to tell you a little poem about satisfaction, it goes. Is satisfaction fact or fiction ext.

Chapter 2: PASSION
At the time I really didn’t fully comprehend or appreciate ms hearts heavily articulated message. I told her something like, “that was truly some beautiful shit, but I’d bet I’ll be satisfied if I were Oprah rich”. She giggled before replying with, “if you found out somehow you suddenly became Oprah rich this very moment, I’d bet you’d be totally thrown off balance, you wouldn’t know how to manage. In no time you would find yourself drifting into madness, or even worst lose yourself drifting into madness”. She fired up a joint, took a massive hit then continued with, “I know you’ve heard the expression money can’t buy you happiness, I know you probably never paid it any attention, but if you only knew how true that statement was, you would probably begin to take it into consideration. She paused to blow the smoke in my face, then said,”Take princess Diana for instance, she could of had anything in the world at her finger tips, why did she chose to pick up manic depression. Why would she chose to pick up sharp objects to cut her with”. I interrupted her to say, “I don’t know, maybe she was just a royal psycho bitch”. “Oh please valentine”, she said while passing me the blunt.” The reason was this, the peoples princes longed for something that didn’t have a price on it. What the princes longed for was peace of mind, & the joy that comes with it. But before she ever got a chance to fully faced her demons, she married into royal money, so the fame monster that tends follows the filthy rich, took over the wheel & drove her into a dead end”. After saying that, ms heart went silent for a second & drew a crucifix in the air. “At least that’s my option “she said after a moment of silence.

I listen to ms heart state her point of view until it was light outside, but as the sun began to light the sky it was lights out for me. Once again I was sleeping like a baby in this complete strangers tent. I slept so comfortably my mind slipped into vivid dream. In the dream I stood in front of a woman’s face on a giant computer screen. The woman’s face resembled Marilyn Monroe, but her hair wasn’t blond, it was a dark reddish ginger color, sort of like a foxes coat. The image had three eyes, that were each filled with these hypnotic blinding lights. Two of the eyes that were where eyes are supposed to be steered right pass me, but the eye that was positioned in the center of the woman four head steered directly at me. The extra eye didn’t seem like an eye at all tho, it was more like a magnifying glass with the sun behind it. The third eye projected a light so intense it instantly set my body ablaze. The whole experience freaked me out a bit, I woke from it breathing heavily & covered in a cold sweat. I wanted to tell ms heart every detail of the strange vision, hoping she could interpreted it, but for some reason she wasn’t in the tent at the time.

I waited for her to return for like eternity. All the while hunger had my stomach groaning like a yellow stone grizzly, I hadn’t eaten anything since X-mas. I thought to myself yea right supply all my needs. Only when it’s convenient for her tho right, not when I’m actually in need. I needed to take a shower, I needed to take a shit, I needed to brush my teeth, I needed to smoke a cigarette, I needed something to wear. Where were my clothes anyway? But most of all, I needed some 40%, 80 proof distilled water to drink. Here I was with barely any resources & no choice but to wait for this beautiful stranger (butt ass naked inside her tent). It was a really weird feeling. But it could have been worst tho, at least there was a Bose stereo with the radio left on, along with a battery powered heater keeping me warm. I thought to myself what a sweet fire hazard from the heart. There also was that mug of tea that I didn’t drink. My nerves were obviously really bad, so I down it thinking the caffeine would take the edge off a bit. 30 minutes later I refilled the mug then set it outside the tent ( it stunk). Not long after that I thought to myself, I had enough of this shit. It was getting dark outside, I was getting the fuck out of there. I warped a blanket around me, then leaped for the front of the tent. But as I unzip the front of the tent open, mother nature showed me just what type of mood she was in. A cold wind blew right in my direction, the wind blew so hard I had to grip on to the blanket while tucking my head down to shield my face from the harsh elements. That’s when out of the blue, a pink mitten grabbed my nuts making me yelp like a puppy, then without letting go shoved me to the back of the tent. “Were do you think your going “ms heart said still griping my nuts. “LOOK GYPSY BITCH YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO, IM NOT GOING TO LET YOU HOLD ME HOSTAGE”, I yelled. She let go of my balls to take off a knapsack on her back, & some huge sound cancelling ear phones she had on her ears. “I got you some stuff “she said totally unaware of how furious I was. “So how was your day of rehab”, she said, as she finished getting herself situated. “Rehab I answered, you said this was therapy. You told me we would be talking & fucking, you didn’t say anything about leaving me here alone all day”. Ms heart gave me a Aww sound & a fake sad face, then said, “I’m sorry, but leaving you here without any cloths was a good way of finding out who I was dealing with”. Then she added, “If you had any addictions to hard drugs you wouldn’t be here right now, now would you”. Shit, she had a point, but I wasn’t having it. “I said well what happened to the promise you made, you must have completely underestimate all my needs”? “Well “she said, While reaching into the knapsack she took of her back,” I thought you needed some new cloths being that you threw up all over your old outfit”. She reached in the bag & pull out a bright yellow hoodie with a matching pair of sweat pants. Then she said,” I thought you needed to brush your teeth because your breath smells like shit so I got you this”. She threw me a tooth brush along with a small tube of tooth paste. “One more thing” she said, “I got you a new wallet, your I.D. & bank card are in there, but they may smell a little shitty tho, I had fish the wallet you had out of that toilet. So there you go now your free to do what you want”, she then said. “Ok I WANT TO EAT”, I shouted. I started putting on the sweats she got me. “Ether your going to get me some food or I’m out of here”, I said while scrummaging around for my shoes. “Where’s are my shoes I yelled”, after realizing they weren’t in the tent. Ms heart calmly said “you know we could just order something right, what are you in the mood for”. I stared at her with a blank look, thinking to myself, this bitch has completely lost her mind. But I was starving so I couldn’t turn down food. I just said dominos. Ms heart smiled & said dominos it is I got them on speed dial. She pulled out her I pone & proceeded in ordering the pizza. While she order the pizza I talked across her, saying, “you think your slick huh, your going hide my shoes, ok I got you, watch what im going to hide”. Ms heart covered the phones mic with her hand, to shout, “would you mind, I’m trying to order the pizza”. Then she followed with, “what do you want on yours”? “Leave mines plane I replied”. When she was finished with the order I asked her,” why are you doing this to me”. She said “because you have a light inside you, endless opportunities lie ahead of you, & I don’t want to see you throw them all away”.” What makes you think I don’t have a plan” I asked her. “It’s not that I think you don’t have a plan”, she said, “its the fact that you don’t have the mind state to know what the right plan is”. “How do you figure”, I then asked her. She said “it doest take a genius to see your sweating & shaking from the detox your body’s going threw”. Then she paused & looked at me with a look that let me know she knew exactly what was up with me. It was no secret, I was a alcoholic, if I had my shoes I probably would have resorted to begging for change to get a beer. I began to think, damn I’m so close to being a bum. Ms heart said “I’ll be right back, I’m going to go get the order”, then dipped out of the tent. Her timing was perfect, I needed time to myself to analyze what road I was heading down in life. How was I going to get on the right track, I thought, I really didn’t have any plan. What was the right track anyway? I wonder on until ms heart returned with a brown paper bag full of fruits & vegetables. “Weirs the pizza I yelled. Ms heart replied, you don’t need pizza, you need something that will rejuvenate your body”. Totally frustrate from getting far from what I expected I girt my teeth & turned from facing her. All of a sudden I heard zippers & buttons coming undone, then I heard her empty one of the bags. Ms heart softly said “turn around & taste me with these peaches & cream”. I turned to see her with her legs spread open with her natural nectar dripping over a bunch of fruits & berries. It was a truly magnificent sight to behold. “Take it all “she whispered to me. She didn’t have to tell me twice, I began inhaling everything. She then whispered “I want you to let your breath out inside me, blow me away”. This made me blow on her pussy like it was way to hot to just shove in my mouth. I Doug in, & it wasn’t long before ms heart went haywire. She griped my head as her legs convulsed, then she griped my right hand & made me feel her hearts pulse. At that moment my mind just dissolved ( I black out). I regain consciousness moments later, to see ms heart staring at me with her bedroom eyes. “Deja vu”. I said grinning.

We chatted for a while & while we did I remembered the dream I had. I told it to ms heart in full detail, then asked her if she could interpreted it for me. She said, “I would be delighted to”. Without hesitation she got right into it saying, “It’s seem to me as if you had a dream about the system you live in. You were looking in the face of the machine you relied on, as it acted as if it wasn’t looking at you, but it really was. The sun was the machines third eye, & its main source of power. It burn you up because you had nothing to offer the it, likewise it had nothing for you. But a part of you was attracted to it, thats why you viewed it with having the heights of beauty. You also viewed the machine with having fox like characteristics, like it was a crook. Im guessing thats what it’s hair color represented. Ms heart ended her analysis with, I guess your subconscious mind knows the soil it’s resting on valentine”. I just replied, “It seem so”. She jumped off topic to talk about Oprah again. She said “do you want to know the reason why Oprahs able to maintains her sanity while being so wealthy”? I said something like “I don’t know enlighten me”. “Its because Oprah has a passion for giving”. That statement rang a bell in my mind. When I was young my mother always told me, you only get to give. Ms hearts then told me, “Its hard to get depressed when your truly passionate about something likely giving”. At that moment I had an little epiphany , I understood what ms heart was telling me & it actually made sense. I told her thats the first thing you’ve said that sounds like it adds up. She said, what i’m saying is not rocket science valentine. Then she said let me tell you a little poem about passion, It goes

Are you a slave to your passion?

Should you be?

Do you surrender to your passion unquenchable burning?

If no then what keeps you breathing?

Is your passion your potion or your poison?

Is it your means to an end?

Is it your ends?

Is your passion really your passion or is it your passion to pretend?

Is your passion foolish pride?

Does your passion get you high?

Is it something you treasure?

Does it fill you with pain

or does it fill you with pleasure?

Does it pull you apart?

Or does it keep you together?

Does your passion keep you under pressure?

Does your passion kill you quickly or slowly bring you alive

Or vice versa?

Whatever your true passion may be

Let it be.

& Whatever your true passion may do

Let it do.

Just know you are your passion

& your passion is you.

Chapter 3: SENSATION
“What’s your passion”? I asked her, after all her questions. “Good question” she answered, “I have so many. I guess I’ll have to say the art of living life to the fullest is my number one passion”. I thought to myself ha well you must suck at that if your occupying wall street. Ms heart said, “the question you should be asking yourself is, what is my true passion”. Damn,I had to think about that one. I had things I liked to do, like free styling ( rapping) & painting, but I wouldn’t consider them passions of mines, more so hobbies. I just told her, “I don’t have any”. Ms heart said “yes you do, everyone has a passion, & I’m here to help you find yours”. Good luck with that, I thought myself. I told her “before you help me find myself, help me find a bathroom, I really have to shit”. We both laughed at the awkward situation, then ms heart said “no prob, I’m going to my neighbors tent to get your shoes”. She threw on her coat & boots, then left the tent to do as she said. Five minutes later she returned with my shoes, but she wasn’t alone. A slim, red boned, brunet chick, with chinky eyes & a devilish grin accompanied her. I knew this chick was going to be a distraction, she looked like full on occupy jailbait.”Valentine I would like you to meet my neighbor Ember”, ms heart said.” She was one of my friends that helped me drag your drunk ass to my tent”. “You were WASTED”, we’re the first words ember said to me (in her posh high pitched voice). I hadn’t any words for her, I just nodded my head & avoided any eye contacted. Ms heart said, “put your shoes on, we’re going to jog to the gym”. I replied, were gonna what? The two waited for me to get my shoes on & tied, then took off down the block. “Catch up if you want to take a shower,” ms heart shouted. “WAIT UP”, I cried! I quickly held my bowls & hauled ass, as best I could. There was no way I was going miss out on a shower.

About one miles & 30, thirsty minutes later we arrived at the gym. I couldn’t keep myself from puking on the carpet of the automatic doors at the front entrance. I hadn’t ran like that in a long time. Luckily I was skillfull enough to keep the vomit from getting on my bright yellow outfit tho. We entered & ms heart got me in as a guest. I ran straight to the rest room, kicked in the stall, wrestled my sweats down then painted the face of the toilet seat brown. Ahhhh, Euphoria came over my whole body from getting that load off. I then mummified my hand in toilet papper & wiped my ass clean. When I was done I washed my hands, doused them in hand sanitizer, checked out how much my facial hair had grown in the mirror, then diped outta there. Ms heart & ember stood laughing at me as I came out of the men’s room. I told them, “what are you two laughing at, who wears trenches & boots to the gym”. Ms heart said “if you be good, in few minutes we won’t be wearing anything at all”. We walked pass treadmills & exercise equipment until we arrived at a tinted glass door. The door had a sign on it that read, message therapy spa. Ms heart politely said be a gentlemen valentine. I took the hint & open the door for the lady’s, than followed them inside the room. Littled did I know that I had just walked into heaven on earth. Lava lamps played on the white walls, while Eurythmics sweet dreams played threw speakers in the celling. Ms heart & ember immediately striped down to there socks, then started dancing in front of me ( VERY SEXUALLY). This aboviously aroused the fuck out of me, my dick quickly grew to a size I didn’t even know was possible. Ember shoved her hands down my pants & grabbed my throbbing erection, then guided me to the meassage table without letting go. Ms heart said “lie down for me mr Freeman you are about to be reborn”.
Before my head hit the goose down pillow on the bed, the lady’s tore off my sweats & began to rub down my entire body. Ember stood at the head of the bed & bent her bullet nippled voluptuous breast over my face, while running her hands over my body with ms heart (who was standing at my feet). I couldn’t see much at that point, but I could care less, because my sense of touch was receiving fist class treatment. It wasnt long before kisses began to shower my flesh, followed by sucks, licks & nibbles (That left me imprinted with hickeys & bite marks). Some of the bites hurt & some even drew a bit of blood. This made me twitch & cry Ahhh, while trying my best to man up to the pleasurable abuse. The nips became more & more forceful as they continued, to the point were I began to beg the two to ease up a little (whispering take it easy) here & there. But my silent pleads were completely egnored by the ladies, as they rapidly let there selves be carried into a lust filled frenzy. Out of the blue I felt teeth sink deep into my inner thigh. This made me grab the side of the bed, arch my spine up off the mattress & yell, YAAA FUCK! Ember said, “pain is pleasure boy” then pressed on my stomach, forcing my back to crash down against the mattress. Thats when ms heart left the foot of the bed to go get something out of her coat. She pulled out a brown water canteen out of her pocket, then walked back over to the foot of the bed. Ember joined ms heart as she popped open the canteen & began to pour a thick golden liquid all over her breast & hands. When ms heart had finished oiling herself up, she passed the canteen to ember & she did the same. All the pain of there feeding frenzy transformed into an electric tingling sensation as I felt the souls of my feet being massaged by the two ladies. It was like they were pressing against all the right nerve endings, sending a deep energy charge threw out my entire body. It was such a deep bursting vibe I tried to pull away to get a chance to analyze what I was feeling. Not a good idea when your dealing with two extremly horny women. The moment I jerked my legs back I swear I saw the meanest look of lust filled aggression came over the women’s faces. It looked as if they were hungry for my body & I was trying to take there meal. They grab my legs & dragged my ass to the edge of the mattress. I thought what the fuck have I got my self into? I started to fear what would happen if let them continue. Ms heart peeped the look of dismay of my face & grinned as if it was exactly what she was aiming for. Her grin matched embers devilish grin which seemed like it hadn’t left her face since the time we met. This made me wonder if all this shit they were doing to me was premeditated. My pondering could only last a few seconds tho. My attention reverted back to what ms heart was doing to me at the moment. She warped my dick in between her luscious breast then began to slid her chest up & down my shaft. The feeling was unexplainable. All I could say is that, it felt like I was drifting threw some steaming hot precipitating clouds. Five strokes in & a extraordinary, thundering rippled threw my inner beging. I was about to explode. Ms heart demanded ember to pour some more CANNABIS oil on her breast. Those words delayed my Climax for a second. WTf oil, I could only think at that time ,while sunk in such pleasurable suspense. BlLLhhAaa I couldn’t hold back any longer. I broke hard as ever. My back crashed to the back of the bed. WTF!
I began fading in & out a daze again, my pulse raced with my breath. Ms heart rose with my cum sliding down her chest chanting.

Sensation’s a seductress

who stimulates our senses

with soothing massages

sending message’s

to areas that are sensitive

releasing chemicals like dopamine & serotonin

sensation’s a chemist

natural sensation cures like doctors remedies

unlike synthetics

true sensations gives us extacy even when reminiscing

So we should never forget it

Chapter 4: DESIRE
The effects of the tainted oil began to kick in shortly after ms hearts speech. The room seemed as if it was turning slowly anlong with the lava lamps shadows on the walls. I was high as a loose helium balloon. I tried to get a grip on myself by standing up, which was no problem, until I tried stepping. My whole body was numb from the ass down & I quickly found out that walking wasn’t second nature for me.Two shaky steps towards ms heart & my knees dropped to the floor. “WTF have you done to me”, I shouted. Ms heart replied “please, clam down”, as she kneeled down & got into a standard meditation position. She then advised ember & I to do the same. The three of us held hands & got in a circle. (like we were about to sing kumbiya or something) Ms heart instructed us to close our eyes & clear our mind.” Concentrate your consciousness only on your breathing” she said. “What time is”? I asked, out of a growing curiosity. Ember squeezed my hand & said “shoo”! Both of the ladies then blocked me out as they went into there zen modes. How long we’re we going to sit here meditating, how was I suppose to concentrate on breathing? how long was I going to be this high? My mind raced with endless chattering. Memory’s even played on me, fresh memory’s referenced back to past memory’s, followed by analysis of how the future might be. Escaping thought was impossible, & trying to clear my mind only made me think more. I found relief when ms hear broke the silence, by saying, “ok I’m ready to take a shower”. She got up then stretched out her hand towards me. I took her hand & she helped me up. I was still high as a kite, but I was able to walk at that point.( not without stumbling a bit tho) The three of us got dressed, then exited the spa. My eyes had to adjust to lighting in the gyms main room, it was almost blinding after coming out of that dimly lit spa. We walked (I staggered) to the front of the gym where the locker rooms where located, then ms heart past me a block of soap & said, “we’ll meet you back here in 15 minutes”. I thought I’m probably going to need around 50 minutes, but I kept my thoughts to myself & headed to the showers.
Let me tell you, I rejoiced like a baptized baptist when I got under that water. Joy was my only conscious emotion, I don’t know if it was heighten do to the oil or if it was just a natural enjoyment of the present situation. All I know is that joy was there & was real. The soap stung when it slipped inside the little openings ms heart & ember left in my flesh, but the feeling wasn’t so painful. It was more or lest a sort of surging tingling, that the water sooth over. It actually felt quite pleasant. While I finished rinsing off I noticed something very different about me. My jaws weren’t so tightly clamped, my heart didn’t weight as much as it did, nether did my thoughts.The stress I had been holding on to for a while was no longer there. I turned the water off to fully grasp my moment of clarity. Where was that empty feeling I was feeling? It seemed as if all my cares & fears just went down the drain with the water.
It got up to the time for me to meet back with the ladies, So I dryed off, put my cloths back on, then hit the door. A water fountain to left side of the door, caught my eye on coming out of the locker room. I totally ignored everything that was going on, & hung my face over with my mouth open. I jabbed fountains the button, not knowing the water would spring out forceful enough to spray me in the face. This caught the attention of the whole room (including ms heart & ember) & once again I was the object of laughter. It was hilarious tho, so I just bust out laughing along with them, then pushed my ass out & got to drinking. Ah ice cold water, I tried to down a gallon of it. While I drank, I over heard ms heart & ember getting into a argument about religion. I heard ember say “Well because X-mas is for Christians, you can’t be a Christian yogi that’s a total contradiction “. Ms heart said “why not”? Ember said “Well how would you explain or justify what we did 20 minutes ago, st Teresa. Ms heart replied with,” well its a matter of faith. I believe jesus died for my sins, so i’m forgiven, & if quantum physics is correct & are reality is a manifestation of what we believe, then I believe in what the majority of society believes in, making Christianity the realist thing going. Come on ember even the queen believes in JESUS. When I heared that I spewed the water out of my mouth. Ember “shouted valentine what do you believe”. I said, “Aye Chill with that, while ducking from all the attention the conversation was causing. Why dont we discus this outside or something, I whispered”. Ms heart said “good idea”. We all went outside, then just as the auttomatic door closed behind us ember asked me again. “Valentine what do you believe in”. I paused for a sec then stated boldly in my best Jamaican accent,” I BELIVE IN HIGHLY Haile SELASSIE I JAH RASTA FARI”. This made the two of them stop to see if I was serious. Then I cracked a smerk & all of us almost Rollover over laughing. When the laughter cleared up I said, “no for real tho, if I had to say I believe in anything it would have to be love. Ms heart said now see now your speaking my language, God is love & love is the first step towards enlightenment. As we walk back to wall street ms heart started explaining to me her whole perspective on life & enlightenment. She told me, “Enlightenment is what happens when you find love, overcome fear, & know how to make good use of your reason. You know what, give me your email I write about this stuff all the time, Im going to send you some of my work “ms heart said, when she finished explaining her views on reality. I asked her” is that what you are, your a writer”. Ember interrupted ms heart before she answered me, ember said “ms heart is something different every day. One day she’s the writer of her philosophy on enlightenment the next she’s a Theologian”. I said no, I mean what do you do for a living. Ms heart just ignored my question by bickering with ember again. They went at it until we reached wall street.
I now find it funny that I only fully recognized how surreal It was to be staying in the middle of the occupancy movement then as we approached wall street. My eyes were open while walking threw the crowds of protesters, young & old standing together out in the cold, fighting to make there voice heard. I wasn’t the only one with problems. This was as real as it gets, my problems were actually minuet in comparison to what some of the shit these people were going threw. Ms heart went back to the tent & ember went her way. As for me I stayed up until dawn listening to people sharing there thoughts & feeling. The last thing I remember doing was brushing my teeth outside the tent as the sky turned navy blue, then joining ms heart who was wrapped up in a blanket fast asleep.
It had to be around noon day when I woke to cranberries zombies blasting threw the speakers of the Bose system. Once again ms heart was meditating in front of me, this time doing a yoga move that look like it defied gravity. I reached over to the system to turned the music down, but before I could press the volume button ms heart said ” good morning valentine, please join me”. I informed her that it was impossible for me to bend my body up the way she had hers, but she told me “you don’t have to, just cross your legs, close your eyes & straighten your spine”. I did as she said, then asked her, how am I suppose clear my mind. She told me by concentrating on your breathing & nothing else. “Lets say I do clear my mind “I said, ” how’s that going help me when I got so much shit to think about if I want to get my life on track”. Ms heart replied clearing your mind is only transferring your conscience from the left side of your brain to the right. She told me the left side of my brain deals with logical analyzation & the right side deal with divine intoxication. She hopped up from her tangled up stance then said “you know what forget about for now, your filled with too much desires to even come close to transcending conscience”. I said “hold up, I’m willing to give it a try”. Ms heart started rolling joint while saying, you wanted to know what I do for a living. I jokingly said, “yea unless you like, steal organs & sell em on the black market or some shit”. Right after saying that I thought oh shit” on second thought I would want to know if she was into some shit like that”. Ms heart laughed then said, “no nothing of that nature, but what I do is illegal & I do hurt people”. I went silent for a minute as psycho sirens began to blaire in my mind. I thought about a list of things she could of been, from queen drug dealer to fem fatal assassin. She smirked at my clueless, curious face, then she told me, “I get $2,000 dolIars an hour to make these wall street big shots suck on my feet before I fuck them in there ass with strap on’s”. My mouth dropped to the floor. ” In shock I said so your a prostitute”. Ms hearts said,” no I sell fantasies not my body”. This completely change the way I viewed her & also brought up a ton of questions. The first question I wanted to ask her was what hell she was doing out here, but before I could she said.” I dont want to fixate on what I do for living right now, I only brought it up to make a point. I mentioned it is because I want to show you how you can lose your self in desires”. She fired her joint then said, “this my philosophy on desire.

When we search for pleasure on the outside

as opposed to owning it on the inside

we become devoured by desires

Urges emerge in our brains chemical & electrical make up submerged in 80% water

In smoking mirrors mirages in invisible flames flair

appearing as pleasurable possibilities in the near future

Love gets sired in these illusionary nirvanas in an ether real nightmare

The only way to become awake alert & aware

is learning not to suffer what isn’t there.

Chapter 5 OBSESSION
After her poem I went into deep thought for a minute. Ms heart nudged my arm to pass me the joint, then asked me “whats was on my mind”. I answered “nothing, don’t worry about it”. She said, “thats good, I should of let you be then. Keeping your mind on auto pilot as much as possible is the best way of gaining divine inspiration”. She got closer & began to rubbed her hands over my face, then said “you have to know how to indulge in pleasure when pleasure presents her self to you. You have to know how to enjoy her & not hurt for the joy she brings when it leaves”. You get my drift, she then asked as she griped my chin in her hand. I said “yea I get you, while falling in love with the way she was running her other hand all over me. “Affection is a gift & a curse” she said before peck kissing my neck. She continued with “sure it brings you to life & connects you with the moment, but it can easily becomes a afflicting addiction”. Chills ran threw my skin from the breath & depth of those words (bells rang). For some reason at that point I realized everything around us was in perfect harmony with us. The vibrating concert street under us was in concert with the chants from the crowed around us, it all felt like a part of us. Its hard for me to describe, but it felt like my inner senses were opened, the light, sound & feelings inside me blended with everything from the horns on the cars to the beat of our heart. What could trouble my mind, I was getting the best Bj (blow job) in the greatest city in the world, free of charge, free from the heart. Hallelujah!
However, Her words were way stronger than the feeling she gave me. What she was telling me had the power to liberate me from the fire of desire. What she was trying to show me wasn’t clear to me until hours later when I started thinking about what would happen when the ball dropped. That’s when this E.C.T. thing was supposed end, that’s when we were supposed part ways. This was a problem, because a new found love for her was definitely growing on me. I’m mean how could you blame me, theres a lot of guys that would die for the special treatment I was getting. Its was the funniest thing as soon I realized how much desire burned, I also realized the fact that I was totally engulfed in it. I had to tell ms heart how I felt. But of course I was going to be as indirect as possible tho, (didn’t want my feelings to come off sounding corny). In a agitated tone I told her,” if desire destroys people so much then why have you been stuffing me full of it”. She calmly claimed ,” getting you acquainted with your worst enemy gives you the option of controlling or destroying them if your powerful enough to”. The question is how powerful are you, could you be powerful enough to conquer your worst enemy. ” I thought whoa, what are you getting at, I don’t know”. She began to get ready to go some where, as she left she said “don’t worry babe, i’ll make sure you’ll have enough courage to be fearless by the time the ball drops”. That was exactly what I needed to hear, but at the time the only thing I feared was her not feeling the same feelings I felt for her. She left & the whole time she was gone I imagined what life would be like with her as my wife. What else could I think, I mean I didn’t have anyone else around to hold on to. I decided what I had to do was figure out what paths she was wanted to go down in life in order to see if I could to sync my destiny with hers. I fell asleep contemplating the matter. In my sleep I had another dream about that lady’s face on the computer screen. This time, she was behind me as I looked out of the head of the statue of liberty. I couldn’t see anything but sun shining threw the windows, as I heard anarchy all threw out the city, it sounded like bulding were crashing & billions of voices screaming from every direction. I woke around dawn terrified!
Mozart’s lacrimosa roared threw ms hearts speaks as I came to my senses. Ms heart had just entered the tents entrance with two paper bags in her hands. She peeped the state of panic I was in then said,”Damn valentine you look like you’ve just seen a ghost”. I couldn’t speak, I just stared into her worried eyes as she stared back into mines. She asked me, what’s going on with me, as she passed me a brown paper bag with a hot soup inside it. I told her something like,” I wish I could tell you but I barley know myself”. It took a few sips of soup for me to get comfortable enough to start breaking the ice on how I was feeling. When I finally maned up, I asked her, “do you believe in love at first sight”. She replied, “well that’s hard to say, I believe two people can be very attracted to each other on first sight, then get to know each other & find out that they both have all the qualities of the person they would want to spend the rest of there life with. Then she followed her answer up with, but I don’t know if you would call that love at first sight. Damn I didn’t even know why I ask her that question, knowing she had a politically correct answer for almost every question. The only way for me to get the answer I was or wasn’t looking for was to get straight to the point. I did, but I managed to do so by tip toeing to it . I said “what do you want your love life to be like”. She laugh, then whimsically said some thing like the greatest love of all is inside me, my love life is already as golden as can be. As the tent turned a lighter shade she, got into a meditation pose with her legs folded & her hands on her knees. Before I could ask another silly question ms heart said, “I take things as they come valentine, because I’ve learned having contentment is like having the philosopher’s stone, you can pretty much turn everything into gold with it. But to be content you have to completely purge yourself of any obsessions for things you cant have”. Without thinking I blurted out, Ok but what if I only wished to have you. She said,” maybe in the next lifetime valentine, we all have drama & im sure you don’t want to get evolved with any of the drama I’m dealing with right now”. I told her,”I might if we take everything one day at a time”. Her whole face lite up after I said that, then she got serious & filled me in on her present situation, which actually came to surprise the shit out of me.
She began to tell me all about the visit she payed to her brother in the brooklyn federal detention center the day before. This immediately caught my attention because my dad was in that same building. Come to find out her brother emerald heart was awaiting trail for his involvement in a Mayger cannibiss cartel & owning over a dozen cannibiss nurseries that he managed threw out mexico & California. Mercy, this sounded too familiar. Well it was far more than something that just sounded familiar, this was the sting my father was involeved in. The hair stood up on my skin. I took in a deep breath to assess the anomaly, as I exhaled I listened as she angrily explained her x husbands gold fingered hand in the game. Get this, her husband some Gordon gecko type financial adviser investor, funded the whole operation. It was a phenomena, the whole time the both of us were together we were part of some weird twigh light zone divine intervention paradox & nethier of us had even the slightest clue. I remember cutting her off mid sentence as she began to mention more of my pops involvement. I said ok ok spear me the detail, your life is way to manic for me.
We went silent for a while until ms heart decide to light up a joint of some Cush. Then she started telling me the reason she was on wall street with the protesters. I was held in suspense from beginning to end.” I’m from St. Pedro she started to with “. Long story short she moved to America when she was 18 to live with her bother in California who was a doctor that legally owned huge medicinal marajuana farms & vine yards in the valleys. Life was a dream until Diamond mind her greedy future husband show up one day with the deal of a life time. Mr mind told her brother that he could make triple what he was making if he also managed some more farms some place just outside of the city of Santa fe in mexico. Little did ms hearts brother know that these crops were be grown to be distributed illegally world wide. At the same time slick old diamond mind with his millionaire charm was smooth enough to sweep little ms heart off her feet & they got married shortly after. She told me life with mr. mind was like living in the eye of a category 4 hurricane. If you don’t know what that’s like, I would tell you it’s like a grim still place your stuck in while chaos swirls around you. For the time there married lasted ms heart moved to N.Y.C. To be closer to her husband & taught kundulini yoga online in one of his Harlem apartments. Time past by & it didn’t take long for ms heart to realized mr mind rarely had any time for her, so she filed for divorce. It got messy like divorces usually do & due to diamond minds high payed lawyer along with his great influence in the court ms heart came off empty handed. Just as this was happening the Feds cracked down on the whole cannabis operation. While she was in court one day her brother called her from the Feds building in brooklyn filling her in on the bad news. Over 20 pounds of his marijuana (I’m talking millions of dollars worth of his weed) was found on a freight liner in new jersey that was on its way to the virgin islands.
She put the little money that she had from her yoga training to wards bailing her bother out by, giving it to his wife (like he requested ). But his wife was no good she disappeared shortly after. So penniless ms heart decided to head to the occupy movement on wall street. A visit to a underground dominatrix club her husbands was a member of got her the femdom gig that got her by for the time being. Most of the money she got from her tricks was ether sent to her brother or given to the homeless. She only held on to 10% of her earnings for basic necessity. In no time she was comfortable enough to set up a tent & become a prominent voice in libirty plaza protesting against corporate greed. On x-mas eve she helped organized a march to ground zero in a attempt to remind the people of how american freedom felt before the fear after the attack . On the way back from her march she found me passed out in that john. & there you have it, that’s how this all came to be. I remember ms heart ending her synopses with something like, the worst mistake of her life was marring this greedy 1%er x husband who was driven by his obsession to reach the zenith of monetary prosperity.Then she put the roach out, tie her hair in a pony tail & got on her poetry tip by saying.

Make sure your obsession is not a distraction

know if your obsession is not love then it is a distraction

loveless obsessions only leads 2 negative compulsive actions

so if your not investing love in your actions how will they benefit you?

that’s the question.

Chapter 6 PATIENT
“What do you think the majority of our society is obsessed with most valentine”, she asked me after her poem. I thought about most of the music videos I’ve watched then answered, “sex & money I guess”. She giggled & said yea in a way but I would say most people in the western world are obsessed with being successful, the only problem is they have know idea what success really is. They think success is something to be achieved or even bought in some cases, when in actual fact success is way more that. You must know this valentine, success is not a destination, its a journey & you become successful by being at peace”. I said, “well how do you find peace if the leaders in the U.N. Can’t find it”. “You find peace threw stillness & silence” she replied. That was to vague for me to fully grasp at the time, so I asked her to elaborate a for me. She said,” when you go beyond this material realm & the endless dialogue streaming threw your mind you’ll come to realize the true nature of the universe. Divine awareness takes over & you’ll start to understand your roll in the grand scheme of things. Now i’m not saying you’ll instantly become the Buddha, but I am saying you will surely start find yourself or start creating the best person you could be”. I told her “I think I know who I am, Im just fuzzy on we’re I’m headed”. She sucked her teeth then raised her voice saying, “see that’s the problem with the world today, everybody thinks they know who or what they are, when in really they don’t have a clue. If you knew yourself you would have some idea of where your headed don’t you think. Understand this valentine, you are your passion, when you realize that you’ll see your passion will determine your will & your will will determine your deed, & your deed will determine your destiny. Do you want to know what your destiny should be”? I said “I don’t know, but I bet you have the best answer”. She said,” I would say a place of peace, nothing more nothing less”. How could I disagree with that, All I could tell her was,” damn ms heart you got the answer for everything”.
Although there was one thing I thought that had to be impossible to explain. How could she explain two people who were connected to the same cartel bosses running into each other in middle New York city. What kinda of logical theory did she had for this. When I couldn’t hold my peace any longer l told her just who I was, I was quiet frank about it to, when I said, I bet you know who I am to, don’t you. Her replied stunned me like so many other thing she said. She said I know your Midas’s son you are. It wasn’t hard to figure out when I saw you I.D.

This is how I feel, ever word

Enlightenment is the human being’s emergence from his self-incurred minority. Minority is inability to make use of one’s own understanding without direction from another. This minority is self-incurred when its cause lies not in lack of understanding but in lack of resolution and courage to use it without direction from another. Sapere aude! [dare to be wise] Have courage to make use of your own understanding! is thus the motto of enlightenment.

It is because of laziness and cowardice that so great a part of humankind, after nature has long since emancipated them from other people’s direction (naturaliter maiorennes), nevertheless gladly remains minors for life, and that it becomes so easy for others to set themselves up as their guardians. It is so comfortable to be a minor! If I have a book that understands for me, a spiritual advisor who has a conscience for me, a doctor who decides upon a regimen for me, and so forth, I need not trouble myself at all. I need not think, if only I can pay; others will readily undertake the irksome business for me. That by far the greatest part of humankind (including the entire fair sex) should hold the step toward majority to be not only troublesome but also highly dangerous will soon be seen to by those guardians who have kindly taken it upon themselves to supervise them; after they have made their domesticated animals dumb and carefully prevented these placid creatures from daring to take a single step without the walking cart in which they have confined them, they then show them the danger that threatens them if they try to walk alone. Now this danger is not in fact so great, for by a few falls they would eventually learn to walk; but an example of this kind makes them timid and usually frightens them away from any further attempt.

Thus it is difficult for any single individual to extricate himself from the minority that has become almost nature to him. He has even grown fond of it and is really unable for the time being to make use of his own understanding, because he was never allowed to make the attempt. Precepts and formulas, those mechanical instruments of a rational use, or rather misuse, of his natural endowments, are the ball and chain of an everlasting minority. And anyone who did throw them off would still make only an uncertain leap over even the narrowest ditch, since he would not be accustomed to free movement of this kind. Hence there are only a few who have succeeded, by their own cultivation of their spirit, in extricating themselves from minority and yet walking confidently.

But that a public should enlighten itself is more possible; indeed this is almost inevitable, if only it is left its freedom. For there will always be a few independent thinkers, even among the established guardians of the great masses, who, after having themselves cast off the yoke of minority, will disseminate the spirit of a rational valuing of one’s own worth and of the calling of each individual to think for himself. What should be noted here is that the public, which was previously put under this yoke by the guardians, may subsequently itself compel them to remain under it, if the public is suitably stirred up by some of its guardians who are themselves incapable of any enlightenment; so harmful is it to implant prejudices, because they finally take their revenge on the very people who, or whose predecessors, were their authors. Thus a public can achieve enlightenment only slowly. A revolution may well bring about a failing off of personal despotism and of avaricious or tyrannical oppression, but never a true reform in one’s way of thinking; instead new prejudices will serve just as well as old ones to harness the great unthinking masses.

For this enlightenment, however, nothing is required but freedom, and indeed the least harmful of anything that could even be called freedom: namely, freedom to make public use of one’s reason in all matters. But I hear from all sides the cry: Do not argue! The officer says: Do not argue but drill! The tax official: Do not argue but pay! The clergyman: Do not argue but believe! (Only one ruler in the world says: Argue as much as you will and about whatever you will, but obey!) Everywhere there are restrictions on freedom. But what sort of restriction hinders enlightenment, and what sort does not hinder but instead promotes it? – I reply: The public use of one’s reason must always be free, and it alone can bring about enlightenment among human beings; the private use of one’s reason may, however, often be very narrowly restricted without this particularly hindering the progress of enlightenment. But by the public use of one’s own reason I understand that use which someone makes of it as a scholar before the entire public of the world of readers. What I call the private use of reason is that which one may make of it in a certain civil post or office with which he is entrusted. Now, for many affairs conducted in the interest of a commonwealth a certain mechanism is necessary, by means of which some members of the commonwealth must behave merely passively, so as to be directed by the government, through an artful unanimity, to public ends (or at least prevented from destroying such ends). Here it is, certainly, impermissible to argue; instead, one must obey. But insofar as this part of the machine also regards himself as a member of a whole commonwealth, even of the society of citizens of the world, and so in his capacity of a scholar who by his writings addresses a public in the proper sense of the word, he can certainly argue without thereby harming the affairs assigned to him in part as a passive member. Thus it would be ruinous if an officer, receiving an order from his superiors, wanted while on duty to engage openly in subtle reasoning about its appropriateness or utility; he must obey. But he cannot fairly be prevented, as a scholar, from making remarks about errors in the military service and from putting these before his public for appraisal. A citizen cannot refuse to pay the taxes imposed upon him; an impertinent censure of such levies when he is to pay them may even be punished as a scandal (which could occasion general insubordination). But the same citizen does not act against the duty of a citizen when, as a scholar, he publicly expresses his thoughts about the inappropriateness or even injustice of such decrees. So too, a clergyman is bound to deliver his discourse to the pupils in his catechism class and to his congregation in accordance with the creed of the church he serves, for he was employed by it on that condition. But as a scholar he has complete freedom and is even called upon to communicate to the public all his carefully examined and well-intentioned thoughts about what is erroneous in that creed and his suggestions for a better arrangement of the religious and ecclesiastical body. And there is nothing in this that could be laid as a burden on his conscience. For what he teaches in consequence of his office as carrying out the business of the church, he represents as something with respect to which he does not have free power to teach as he thinks best, but which he is appointed to deliver as prescribed and in the name of another. He will say: Our church teaches this or that; here are the arguments it uses. He then extracts all practical uses for his congregation from precepts to which he would not himself subscribe with full conviction but which he can nevertheless undertake to deliver because it is still not altogether impossible that truth may lie concealed in them, and in any case there is at least nothing contradictory to inner religion present in them. For if he believed he had found the latter in them, he could not in conscience hold his office; he would have to resign from it. Thus the use that an appointed teacher makes of his reason before his congregation is merely a private use; for a congregation, however large a gathering it may be, is still only a domestic gathering; and with respect to it he, as a priest, is not and cannot be free, since he is carrying out another’s commission. On the other hand as a scholar, who by his writings speaks to the public in the strict sense, that is, the world – hence a clergyman in the public use of his reason – he enjoys an unrestricted freedom to make use of his own reason and to speak in his own person. For that the guardians of the people (in spiritual matters) should themselves be minors is an absurdity that amounts to the perpetuation of absurdities.

But should not a society of clergymen, such as an ecclesiastical synod or a venerable classis (as it calls itself among the Dutch), be authorized to bind itself by oath to a certain unalterable creed, in order to carry on an unceasing guardianship over each of its members and by means of them over the people, and even to perpetuate this? I say that this is quite impossible. Such a contract, concluded to keep all further enlightenment away from the human race forever, is absolutely null and void, even if it were ratified by the supreme power, by imperial diets and by the most solemn peace treaties. One age cannot bind itself and conspire to put the following one into such a condition that it would be impossible for it to enlarge its cognitions (especially in such urgent matters) and to purify them of errors, and generally to make further progress in enlightenment. This would be a crime against human nature, whose original vocation lies precisely in such progress; and succeeding generations are therefore perfectly authorized to reject such decisions as unauthorized and made sacrilegiously. The touchstone of whatever can be decided upon as law for a people lies in the question: whether a people could impose such a law upon itself. Now this might indeed be possible for a determinate short time, in expectation as it were of a better one, in order to introduce a certain order; during that time each citizen, particularly a clergyman, would be left free, in his capacity as a scholar, to make his remarks publicly, that is, through writings, about defects in the present institution; meanwhile, the order introduced would last until public insight into the nature of these things had become so widespread and confirmed that by the union of their voices (even if not all of them) it could submit a proposal to the crown, to take under its protection those congregations that have, perhaps in accordance w ith their concepts of better insight, agreed to an altered religious institution, but without hindering those that wanted to acquiesce in the old one. But it is absolutely impermissible to agree, even for a single lifetime, to a permanent religious constitution not to be doubted publicly by anyone and thereby, as it were, to nullify a period of time in the progress of humanity toward improvement and make it fruitless and hence detrimental to posterity. One can indeed, for his own person and even then only for some time, postpone enlightenment in what it is incumbent upon him to know; but to renounce enlightenment, whether for his own person or even more so for posterity, is to violate the sacred right of humanity and trample it underfoot. But what a people may never decide upon for itself, a monarch may still less decide upon for a people;, for his legislative authority rests precisely on this, that he unites in his will the collective will of the people. As long as he sees to it that any true or supposed improvement is consistent with civil order, he can for the rest leave it to his subjects to do what they find it necessary to do for the sake of their salvation;2 that is no concern of his, but it is indeed his concern to prevent any one of them from forcibly hindering others from working to the best of their ability to determine and promote their salvation. It even infringes upon his majesty if he meddles in these affairs by honoring with governmental inspection the writings in which his subjects attempt to clarify their insight, as well as if he does this from his own supreme insight, in which case he exposes himself to the reproach Caesar non est super grammaticos, [Caesar is not above the grammarians] but much more so if he demeans his supreme authority so far as to support the spiritual despotism of a few tyrants within his state against the rest of his subjects.

If it is now asked whether we at present live in an enlightened age, the answer is: No, but we do live in an age of enlightenment. As matters now stand, a good deal more is required for people on the whole to be in the position, or even able to be put into the position, of using their own understanding confidently and well in religious matters, without another’s guidance. But we do have distinct intimations that the field is now being opened for them to work freely in this direction and that the hindrances to universal enlightenment or to humankind’s emergence from its self-incurred minority are gradually becoming fewer. In this regard this age is the age of enlightenment or the century of Frederick.

A prince who does not find it beneath himself to say that he considers it his duty not to prescribe anything to human beings in religious matters but to leave them complete freedom, who thus even declines the arrogant name of tolerance, is himself enlightened and deserves to be praised by a grateful world and by posterity as the one who first released the human race from minority, at least from the side of government, and left each free to make use of his own reason in all matters of conscience. Under him, venerable clergymen, notwithstanding their official duties, may in their capacity as scholars freely and publicly lay before the world for examination their judgments and insights deviating here and there from the creed adopted, and still more may any other who is not restricted by any official duties. This spirit of freedom is also spreading abroad, even where it has to struggle with external obstacles of a government which misunderstands itself. For it shines as an example to such a government that in freedom there is not the least cause for anxiety about public concord and the unity of the commonwealth. People gradually work their way out of barbarism of their own accord if only one does not intentionally contrive to keep them in it.

I have put the main point of enlightenment, of people’s emergence from their self-incurred minority, chiefly in matters of religion because our rulers have no interest in playing guardian over their subjects with respect to the arts and sciences and also because that minority being the most harmful, is also the most disgraceful of all. But the frame of mind of a head of state who favors the first goes still further and sees that even with respect to his legislation there is no danger in allowing his subjects to make public use of their own reason and to publish to the world their thoughts about a better way of formulating it, even with candid criticism of that already given; we have a shining example of this, in which no monarch has yet surpassed the one whom we honor.

But only one who, himself enlightened, is not afraid of phantoms, but at the same time has a well-disciplined and numerous army ready to guarantee public peace, can say what a free state may not dare to say: Argue as much as you will and about what you will; only obey! Here a strange, unexpected course is revealed in human affairs, as happens elsewhere too if it is considered in the large, where almost everything is paradoxical. A greater degree of civil freedom seems advantageous to a people’s freedom of spirit and nevertheless puts up insurmountable barriers to it; a lesser degree of the former, on the other hand, provides a space for the latter to expand to its full capacity. Thus when nature has unwrapped, from under this hard shell, the seed for which she cares most tenderly, namely the propensity and calling to think freely, the latter gradually works back upon the mentality of the people (which thereby gradually becomes capable of freedom in acting) and eventually even upon the principles of government, which finds it profitable to itself to treat the human being, who is now more than a machine, in keeping with his dignity.

WOLFGANG

I. Introit: Requiem
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Te decet hymnus, Deus, in Sion,
et tibi reddetur votum in Jerusalem.
Exaudi orationem meam,
ad te omnis care veniet.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis. Grant them eternal rest, Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them.
You are praised, God, in Zion,
and homage will be paid to You in Jerusalem.
Hear my prayer,
to You all flesh will come.
Grant them eternal rest, Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them.
II. Kyrie
Kyrie, eleison.
Christe, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison. Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.
III. Sequence
1. Dies irae
Dies irae, dies illa
Solvet saeclum in favilla,
teste David cum Sibylla.
Quantus tremor est futurus,
quando judex est venturus,
cuncta stricte discussurus! Day of wrath, day of anger
will dissolve the world in ashes,
as foretold by David and the Sibyl.
Great trembling there will be
when the Judge descends from heaven
to examine all things closely.
2. Tuba mirum
Tuba mirum spargens sonum
per sepulcra regionum,
coget omnes ante thronum. The trumpet will send its wondrous sound
throughout earth’s sepulchres
and gather all before the throne.
Mors stupebit et natura,
cum resurget creatura,
judicanti responsura.
Liber scriptus proferetur,
in quo totum continetur,
unde mundus judicetur. Death and nature will be astounded,
when all creation rises again,
to answer the judgement.
A book will be brought forth,
in which all will be written,
by which the world will be judged.
Judex ergo cum sedebit,
quidquid latet, apparebit,
nil inultum remanebit. When the judge takes his place,
what is hidden will be revealed,
nothing will remain unavenged.
Quid sum miser tunc dicturus?
quem patronum rogaturus,
cum vix justus sit securus? What shall a wretch like me say?
Who shall intercede for me,
when the just ones need mercy?
3. Rex tremendae
Rex tremendae majestatis,
qui salvandos savas gratis,
salve me, fons pietatis. King of tremendous majesty,
who freely saves those worthy ones,
save me, source of mercy.
4. Recordare
Recordare, Jesu pie,
quod sum causa tuae viae;
ne me perdas illa die.
Quaerens me, sedisti lassus,
redemisti crucem passus;
tantus labor non sit cassus.

Juste judex ultionis,
donum fac remissionis
ante diem rationis.

Ingemisco, tamquam reus:
culpa rubet vultus meus;
supplicanti parce, Deus.

Qui Mariam absolvisti,
et latronem exaudisti,
mihi quoque spem dedisti.

Preces meae non sunt dignae,
sed tu, bonus, fac benigne,
ne perenni cremer igne.

Inter oves locum praesta,
Et ab haedis me sequestra,
Statuens in parte dextra.

Remember, kind Jesus,
my salvation caused your suffering;
do not forsake me on that day.
Faint and weary you have sought me,
redeemed me, suffering on the cross;
may such great effort not be in vain.

Righteous judge of vengeance,
grant me the gift of absolution
before the day of retribution.

I moan as one who is guilty:
owning my shame with a red face;
suppliant before you, Lord.

You, who absolved Mary,
and listened to the thief,
give me hope also.

My prayers are unworthy,
but, good Lord, have mercy,
and rescue me from eternal fire.

Provide me a place among the sheep,
and separate me from the goats,
guiding me to Your right hand.

5. Confutatis
Confutatis maledictis,
flammis acribus addictis,
voca me cum benedictus.
Oro supplex et acclinis,
cor contritum quasi cinis,
gere curam mei finis.

When the accused are confounded,
and doomed to flames of woe,
call me among the blessed.
I kneel with submissive heart,
my contrition is like ashes,
help me in my final condition.

6. Lacrimosa
Lacrimosa dies illa,
qua resurget ex favilla
judicandus homo reus.
Huic ergo parce, Deus,
pie Jesu Domine,
dona eis requiem. Amen. That day of tears and mourning,
when from the ashes shall arise,
all humanity to be judged.
Spare us by your mercy, Lord,
gentle Lord Jesus,
grant them eternal rest. Amen.
IV. Offertory
I. Domine Jesu
Domine Jesu Christe, Rex gloriae,
libera animas omnium fidelium
defunctorum de poenis inferni
et de profundo lacu.
Libera eas de ore leonis,
ne absorbeat eas tartarus,
ne cadant in obscurum.
Sed signifer sanctus Michael
repraesentet eas in lucem sanctam.

Quam olim Abrahae promisisti
et semini ejus.

Lord Jesus Christ, King of glory,
liberate the souls of the faithful,
departed from the pains of hell
and from the bottomless pit.
Deliver them from the lion’s mouth,
lest hell swallow them up,
lest they fall into darkness.

Let the standard-bearer, holy Michael,
bring them into holy light.

Which was promised to Abraham
and his descendants.

2. Hostias
Hostias et preces tibi, Domine,
laudis offerimus.
Tu sucipe pro animabus illis,
quaram hodie memoriam facimus.
Fac eas, Domine,
de morte transire ad vitam,
Quam olim Abrahae promisisti
et semini ejus. Sacrifices and prayers of praise, Lord,
we offer to You.
Receive them in behalf of those souls
we commemorate today.
And let them, Lord,
pass from death to life,
which was promised to Abraham
and his descendants.
V. Agnus Dei
Agnus Dei, qui tollis
peccata mundi,
dona eis requiem.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis
peccata mundi,
dona eis requiem.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis
peccata mundi,
dona eis requiem sempiternam. Lamb of God, who takes away
the sins of the world,
grant them eternal rest.
Lamb of God, who takes away
the sins of the world,
Grant them eternal rest.
Lamb of God, who takes away
the sins of the world,
grant them eternal rest forever.
VI. Communion:
Lux aeterna

Lux aeterna luceat eis, Domine,
cum sanctis tuis in aeternum,
quia pius es.
Requiem aeternum dona eis, Domine,
et Lux perpetua luceat eis,
cum Sanctus tuis in aeternum,
quia pius es. Let eternal light shine on them, Lord,
as with Your saints in eternity,
because You are merciful.
Grant them eternal rest, Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them,
as with Your saints in eternity,
because You are merciful.

I want it

In the current of my emotion I was taken down into the depths of despair
Where the sonar siren of death violently blares
With a bone chilling tone heard by the heart, but unoticed by ears
There my stillness went with the wind
blown by my ego into fears
The dim hole of redeemtion grew smaller
As I laid in the Bed I made
with its pillows of regret stained tears
How could I leave reason out of the actions of my good intention
& let myself leave me there

Never shall I go back to that place
If it not for the thin platinum line of discipline
Lined with diamond resistant Hymns
Wasn’t it clear from the start (Sade )
Many times I fell
But because the sky is full of love
Even in the dark knight rising
I CLIMB

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